Thursday, May 03, 2007

More Than Serving Tea

Sukhan Wong. Jeannie Chan-Yee. Yale and Yale Christian Fellowship. Filipino mom in Bahrain. Cindy Yoon. Judson Baptist Church.

These all point to contact I've had with folks of Asian descent. I must admit that my experiences have been very limited (Sukhan was the only Asian person in my almost all Black high school and, though my college and Christian college group had more Asians than Blacks, I did not go out of my way to pursue friendships with folks in this group, even though they seemed more 'real' to me than white Christians). The closest relationship with anyone Asian I've had was with Jeannie Chan, one of my college suitemates, fellow believer and now an adjunct at Fuller, but even that friendship had its limits.

Lately different high profile incidents have thrust the Asian community into the news more, making them the topic of conversation a lot. The VA Tech tragedy, in which a Korean-American went on a killing spree at an American university campus, has everyone talking about the burden racial minorities in this country feel when one of their own commits a crime. Also, a look into the shooter's background revealed a college student full of rage, caused by mental illness but also sparked by a pattern of ridicule and alienation growing up, due to his race. In progressive Christian circles, the Youth Specialties incident, where Christian publishers printed (but later retracted and publicly apologized for!) VBS materials that were racist towards folks of Chinese background, was a topic of conversation not too long ago. In both cases, unfortunate incidents have helped bring to light the reality of being an Asian-American in this country. More Than Serving Tea, an anthology of Asian American women's writing on topics like expectations, relationships, leadership, and faith, continues to give insight on what it's like for Asian-American Christian women, in particular, who live in two cultures and have a triple challenge: being Christian, being Asian-American, and being women.

Though there are obviously differences between my upbringing and experiences as a Black Christian woman, I was surprised at how much of this book resonates with me. It was funny to hear authors write about how Asian-Americans root for entertainers and athletes who are from their background, and how they feel deeply the disappointment and shame when someone who's Asian fails in some way. Blacks do the same thing. It was interesting to hear how certain Asian cultural behaviors (like submissiveness to authority in some-not all-Asian groups) have negative ramifications for the work place. Some African-Americans, raised to respect authority, have to learn to become comfortable with 'pushing back' and expressing dissent (in a positive way), something that whites and others do naturally because of how they were raised. Though not to the same degree, I could identify with the hierarchal family structure (many Black churches still tend to be run by Black men, esp. in the South and Midwest, and many more Black families than white ones are complementarian rather than egalitarian), with the sense of loyalty to community that exists in my culture, too, and with the restraint from showing emotions that has become synonymous with being a 'strong Black woman'.

What's neat about this book is that the authors point out these challenges, but not in a spirit of anger or resentment. They do so in the spirit of Christ: naming what has made their road tough, but then going to God and His Word to help interpret their experiences. So the result is a gratitude to God for the cultures in which they were born (warts and all), a worship of the God who values them as His creation (apart from performance or race/ethnicity or gender), and a wise affirmation of the gifts of their culture yet a sensible pushing aside of anything in their culture that does not affirm their biblical worth and that does not lead them to the peace, love, and joy that Christ brings.

Can you tell I like this book? I think it's a must-read for all folks -- Christian and non-Christian, male and female, Asian or non-Asian. And the authors are: Nikkie A. Toyama and Tracey Gee (editors), Kathy Kang, Christie Heller de Leon, and Asifa Dean (contributors), and Jeanette Yep (consulting editor).

Peace.

2 comments:

Kathy said...

I am one of the authors of the book, and it continues to be such an honor to have our stories used by the Lord in such an incredible way.

May I ask how you came across the book? I'd also love to read/hear any other similarities and differences you picked up on that might be helpful for me as I engage others in similar conversations about faith, gender and race!

Thanks!

thaberean said...

I must say ‘thanks much’ to you and the other authors for writing More Than Serving Tea. I heard about the book from Valeri Chow, fellow member of a monthly book discussion group. We’ve only been meeting for three months now, and every month one member suggests a book we all read for the next month. Valeri actually had a bunch of books on her, and we were about to select one of her Henri Nouwen texts when she casually brought out your book. Instantly I was interested and wanted to read it, and the rest of the group did, too. This Tuesday’s actually when we discuss the book.

You asked about other similarities between African-Americans and Asian-Americans I noticed as I read your book. Here are a few (though I share these with the caveat that there are still great differences between both groups, and I don’t want to fall into the trap of immediately thinking I can identify (fully) with another group’s struggles, which can unintentionally minimize those struggles):

o Mask wearing (p. 58) – Historically Blacks in America have hidden their true feelings and thoughts from whites (and, at times, from others) out of pride and protectiveness. Paul Laurence Dunbar’s “We Wear the Mask” (classic poem) is an example of this truth.
o Perfectionist tendencies (whole chapter) – I think every minority to some degree has to struggle with this tendency. Since we are fighting to overcome negative stereotypes (in the case of my people, characterizations of being lazy, unintelligent, inarticulate, and so on), we are taught from an early age that it is not enough to be just as good as white folks; we have to be better than them. And since any mistake may be interpreted as proof of the negative stereotypes, we don’t have a margin for error. The result is the same fatigue and hypocrisy described in your book. Plus, productive people have a ‘learning orientation’ that your book describes (able to learn from mistakes) rather than a ‘performance orientation’ that your book describes (getting stuck in mistakes and at times failing to try if error is likely).
o Swallowing suffering – I think Black women in particular struggle with this. Traditionally we have held the Black family together, and in slavery we even held the white family together. We have made/make great sacrifices for our family, so we are like Superwomen with an “S” on our chest. This means we usually suffer in silence. We habitually put aside our wants, desires, and thoughts for those of others, and we are the family rock – never showing emotion or revealing when we are in need. Like your book says, there are benefits of this part of our culture (the strength of the women in my family has often inspired me). But there are downsides, too: failure to take care of our own physical and emotional health, inability to ask for and receive help from others, and so on.
o Images of beauty – I don’t really have to say much about this, since the blond haired, blue eyed, rail thin, big-breasted (or similar) image of beauty is a white one, so all other women suffer in the process.
o Male privilege -- Ironically, though Black women have always been instrumental in leading the Black family, there’s always been a tacit privilege given to males. In the Black community there’s a saying that goes, “We (Black women) raise our daughters, and we spoil our sons.” This refers to the fact that Black women will make sure their daughters are trained well and taught how to fend for themselves and survive on their own, but they will not demand the same of their sons. They will have one set of expectations for their daughters (do chores, do well in school, and one day support me), but have a different set for their sons (you can live off me; I’ll support you). Now this is different from your culture, I’m sure, but the root is the same (male preference).

Well, those are just a few more ways in which I see our experiences intersect.

Peace,
J