Same Song, Different Verse: To JS

Don't write much poetry, mainly 'cuz I suck at it. But was inspired to pen this joint while on vacation in N.C. last week....

"Same Song, Different Verse: To JS"

As I look into his eyes, cold, dark, and coffee brown,
I hear his whispering words, and begin to blank out the sound,
As he tells his sad old tale, my mind slowly rewinds
To my younger days, when life was a maze, and no peace could I find.

Hurt, Chaos, and Misery, these were my childhood friends,
Felt trapped, like I was gon’ snap, wondering, “Will this pain ever end?”
No way out of this hell called home, full of heartache and drama,
No Pops to provide and protect, not even a real Mama
To speak of, the real love came from brothers and sis
And a loving, caring Grandma, whose home seemed like bliss.

Spending weekends at Grandma’s was much-needed relief
From the violence and abuse faced day after day, week after week,
The punching and smacking, the screams and the shouts,
No heat, no new clothes, just learning to do without.
Night after night I cried, in my pillow I wept
Over so many lives so broken, so many promises unkept.
The fear and the turmoil slowly turned to anger, boiling hot
As my heart steadily grew colder, as I cursed my poor lot.

Years later, no more danger, but the effects I still feel
No immediate threat any longer, yet why does the pain seem so real?
New life, much less strife, thanks to God a lot’s gone well,
Yet my heart seems forever locked in this thick, protective shell.
Trust is hard, love is harder, the well of emotion has just run dry,
Tough outside, the real me I hide, finding it hard to even cry.
Friends try their best to come close, but there’s always this thick wall
Past which no one can venture, It’s really hard to give my all.

So when I hear his familiar story, my heart wells up with pure dread,
He’s walking my path, going where I’ve been, but I don’t like where the road heads.
Same aches, same pain, Will he ever be healed from this curse?
Why, Lord, is he forced to sing, the same song, different verse?

Copyright Joyce M. Caine © 2007

Taking A Break

Thankfully this week has been a real breather from my very, very hectic life. I'm in North Carolina with my sister and daughter visiting relatives and just 'taking it easy'. It feels good to be able to sleep late (9am is late for me with TT), to not have an 'agenda' or a 'to-do list' for the day, to be able to enjoy long conversations and laughter, and just to 'take a break' from the fast pace of life. Weeks like this are very refreshing and they remind me of my need to incorporate 'little Sabbaths' into my schedule. In fact, I think that might be a resolution of mine for the New Year: to plan for at least one 'get-away time' per quarter -- a weekend even away from TT, the only thing that would have made this break completely restful (I love my little one, but caring for her does involve a measure of stress and being 'on' that a vacation without her doesn't).

I've actually had a chance to pull aside and get a little bit back on track with my times with the Lord. Been reading the Book of First Samuel and contrasting two different leaders -- Saul and David. Also, interestingly, I've been reading Carol Dweck's latest book called Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, which actually relates somewhat to Saul and David. Dweck's book is basically about how harmful a 'fixed mindset' is (the belief that talent is natural and either you have it or you don't) and how beneficial a 'growth mindset' is (the belief in human development -- the idea that you can always learn from your mistakes and failures, and you can grow and develop phenomenally with the right mindset). I can see the fixed mindset in Saul and the growth mindset in Samuel. :0) I am learning so much about myself and about my flaws as a leader, and areas where I can change and improve, through the Bible and Dweck (not that I'm equating Dweck with the Bible or minimizing Scripture, but you know what they say, "All truth is God's truth").

Anyway, I've also had a chance to listen to some of my favorite Bible teachers: Crawford Loritz out of Roswell, GA; John Piper out of Minnesota, I believe; and my all-time favorite, this Scottish dude who pastors a church in Cleveland -- Alistair Begg.

It's been really great catching up on life with my sister Jackie, and just having a chance to laugh with her and to also share God's goodness, as well as struggles and prayer requests. In one way, I'm kind of glad my whole family isn't here, because I think the more folks who are around sometimes, the more diluted the fellowship and intimacy become. Though I would have loved to hang with my brothers, neices and nephew, and of course my long-time friends Barbara Parker and Pam (and Pam's young-uns), it's good just to catch up with my sister in small doses and not have the pressure of being around a ton of folks. Maybe that's my true introverted self coming out again, I don't know.

Anyway, I am just blogging to say how thankful to the Lord I am for giving me this time of rest. It is very much needed, and it has already helped to re-focus and re-juvenate me in a lot of ways.

Peace.

What I'm Reading Now

Eh, yo, I don't know where I find time to read; what I do's more like skim-reading. Anyhoo, I'm checkin' out two good books right now. Here they are:

1) Imperial Hubris: Why the West Is Losing the War on Terror, by Michael Scheuer - Pretty good book; this book was actually quoted by Bin Laden in his latest video release -- Worth checking out to see how some non-Westerners view the West (and why)

2) Influencer: The Power to Change Anything, by a whole gang of folks -- Interesting book on how to change people's behavior rather than just resigning oneself to problems

Family Reunion

Earlier this week I was struck by something I heard a popular Black actor mention on a Christian TV program. The actor who played Uncle Phil on "Fresh Prince" was fondly recalling the wonderful upbringing given him by his mom, a single parent. He made the point that though Black families have their share of struggles, historically they have had strong family bonds despite tough circumstances. As an example, he shared how many of the 4 million freed slaves diligently searched for their families after Emancipation. Instantly my mind began to imagine what it must have been like for a husband, separated from his wife who was sold to another master in another place, to search for his beloved upon gaining freedom. I began to recall ads I'd seen that freed African Americans had placed to locate their children, their parents, and so on, with whom they'd lost contact due to the evils of slavery.

Personally, I cannot imagine the pain of separation, followed by the desperation of a search. The closest I could come to figuring out what this experience must've been like is thinking about what adopted adult children do to locate their birth parents. But even that tough situation does not scratch the surface of what my ancestors must have felt....

Now, I am certainly not one to blame another person for the woes of myself or my people. In fact, I think due to my upbringing, I err too much on the 'pull yourself up by your bootstraps' mentality. However, I cannot help but wonder if any of the problems that plague black families today are the residuals of our slavery past that ripped apart our family structures.

I am also filled with pride for my people, who managed, by God's grace, to survive such a holocaust as slavery. It is a testament to God's goodness that as a people, we were not completely wiped out physically, socially, emotionally, or spiritually.

The hope of those freed Blacks searching for their loved ones saddens me but also inspires me...

Fear, Sadness, and Outrage

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Supremacy of Christ in Post modern Culture

Eh, yo, check out the link below for some awesome preaching on the supremacy of Christ in a postmodern culture. It is from John Piper's national pastors' conference (last year). Very accurately breaks down the challenge for today's ministers (and, heck, today's Christians) in the face of postmodern influences on the Church.



http://www.desiringgod.org/ResourceLibrary/ConferenceMessages/ByDate/1833_The_Supremacy_of_Christ_and_the_Church_in_a_Postmodern_World/

What I'm Reading Now

Right now I'm reading The Rosenwald Schools of the American South, by Mary S. Hoffschwelle, 2006. Great look at the partnership between Booker T. Washington and Julius Rosenwald (who was responsible for Sears becoming a business success) to build over 5,000 schools for African-Americans at the turn of the century. Interesting look at the various forces at play in these ventures, from white philanthropists to Black local organizers to white officials in city and state education depts.

What was striking to me were the similarities bet. education reform in the early 1900s and education reform today: everything from the still unequal education that Blacks receive to the partnerships that have formed between school districts and philanthropists from the world of business to create new schools that will improve the quality of education for the poor in our cities. Another similarity was the complex dynamics between the vision and design of the funders and that of the community and the local leaders.

Some contrasts were evident as well, the most prominent being the lack of self help emphasis. Both in terms of the community mindset and in terms of the funders' requirements, what I found missing was the serious community accountability and involvement for the success of the schools being built. BTW and Rosenwald required communities to raise a certain amount of money before their donations even kicked in. In addition, they required measurable community support because they knew the success of the schools built would be dependent upon the involvement of the communities in which they were placed. I think today our philosophies about the ability of the poor to help themselves and about the political correctness of demanding accountability have hurt us tremendously. A final contrast is that the emphasis of the Rosenwald schools was on the physical plant, not on teacher training, curriculum, or other aspects of school reform that we are familiar with today.

Well, I am not yet finished with the book (about half way through), but I look forward to learning more about the process of getting over 5,000 schools built in about twenty, twenty five years, and about their legacy today. And my thinking is being sparked around what I can glean from BTW and Rosenwald's successes and challenges.

What's sad, though, is that almost one hundred years later, America is still trying to solve the problem of unequal education for its poor Black citizens....

PRAISES

All praises due to the God of the Universe, the Most High God. Today while sitting in a great assessment/data workshop, a call came in on my cell phone. It was from Creative Mobility (aka The Bike Rack) in St. Charles, IL, the place I went to to customize TT's bike. I've been wanting to get Tamara an adaptive bike for quite a few years now (over four), mainly because TT loves doing three things: eating, swimming, and bike riding. I eat too much as is, I'm not getting into a bathing suit until I shed about a hunnerd pounds (not to mention that I can't swim to save my life), so that left bike riding. Though I can't ride a bike either, I can walk alongside T on her bike and get exercise while she enjoys herself.

Anyway, a bike adapted for TT's special needs costs $3,300. I'd all but given up hope on funding such a bike (after years of petitioning places for scholarships), when my sister J encouraged me to keep hope alive. I listened, and rec'd a $1,000 grant back in January or so. I combined that with my own $500, plus another 500 from J. I intended to use my income tax money for the rest, so I put a down payment at Creative Mobility. Unfortunately, for the first time since I've been paying taxes, I ended up owing Uncle Sam rather than getting a refund. I had to make that dreadful call to the bike shop telling them I wouldn't have their money when they'd have the bike (around March), and asking them to give me a couple of months to save up. Well, it's been almost two months and I haven't saved a penny. And then I get a call today...

The owner and his sister knew my situation, and they had a donor who recently asked to whom they could give a donation for a bike. The two folks thought of TT, and as of Saturday, T will have her new bike. Man, I was blown away by God's sovereignty and generosity. My little one will finally have a bike at home to enjoy on weeknights and weekends. We can finally do something enjoyable together.

Excitement

Okay, so it is 12:40am (guess it's Saturday) and I am up revamping the tentative daily staff schedule to include two weekdays of extended day for staff development. Wow! My excitement about the start of the school year's really starting to build. And it's a good thing, too, because I have tons of work to do, many miles to go, before I sleep.

I am 'stoked' as they say about having our families come together and create our core values, and having our staff do the same and create our mission statement. I am so looking forward to the team building part of getting to know staff and finding out what their backgrounds and talents are, and where I need to bring them greater support. Many of my families have called me asking when we are meeting next and declaring their support and how excited they are as well. I know this is the honeymoon stage, but it's good to have a nice honeymoon....

I love the time spent with my AP because we are so much on the same page. I worry about being an experienced enough leader for her. I guess all I can do is be myself and lead the way I would want people to do me. And pray like young Solomon did for God's wisdom to lead the people entrusted to me. I love the teachers I have on board as well. I feel they complement each other well, they are good teachers (sound), and they have a love for students and families and are open to growing. I can't wait until next year when we have residents; I feel having teachers in training will add to the excitement and raise the bar of professionalism, though I think this group of staff are already professionals in every sense of the word.

Again, I know our flaws (mine included) will begin to show the more we are around each other, and I know that we will have our conflicts and our ups and downs, but I am really looking forward to this new school start. I believe the people, systems, structures, and support we have in place are all designed to bring to bear a tremendous PUSH for our students to succeed. I know as Sims puts it all the time, this thing is a marathon and not a sprint, but I believe we can look forward to some real gains this school year in our students HOLISTICALLY.

I'm gonna end with this Scripture from the Old Testament. I've been thinking about it a lot lately over the past two weeks. It was the basis for my personal mission statement when I was going through my stuff at Circle. I barely revisited it last year during my principal internship, but now it is resurrecting in my thoughts (coming back up in my spirit, as my charismatic, Pentecostal friends would say.) Here goes...

"Now these are the last words of David. David the son of Jesse declares, the man who was raised on high declares, the anointed of the God of Jacob, and the sweet psalmist of Israel:

The Spirit of the LORD spoke by me, and His word was on my tongue. The God of Israel said, the Rock of Israel spoke to me,

He who rules over men righteously, who rules in the fear of God, is as the light of the morning when the sun rises, a morning without clouds, when the tender grass springs out of the earth, through sunshine after rain.

Truly is not my house so with God? For He has made an everlasting covenant with me, ordered in all things, and secured; for all my salvation and all my desire, will He not indeed make it grow?"
--II Samuel 23:1 to 5

This passage is followed by a touching story of David's mighty men (the same ragamuffin crew that earlier in his leadership were in distress, in debt, and discontented - see I Samuel 22:1-2). At the end of his career, David had garnered such loyalty from his crew that when he was in the midst of battle, craving water from his city of Bethlehem, his men risked their lives to push through enemy lines and retrieve water for David from a well in his hometown. Even more poignant was David's response to these men's loyalty and care: David poured the water on the ground as an offering to God, refusing to drink the precious water for which his comrades risked their lives. What mutual care and protection! I aspire to be the kind of leader who inspires such motivated action and loyalty and care from those I lead.

Hence, my personal mission statement. Wanna hear it, here it go....

I want to live with God's glory* as the controlling desire of my heart.

I want to fully and mutually engage with loved ones (face to face/heart to heart), discovering what matters to them and working towards what's good for them.

I want to work with and manage people as God's agent, doing the best for them and inspiring the best from them.

I want to have a redeeming impact on others, helping to cultivate what God has placed in them.

*to express God's supreme worth and glorious nature and deeds to others, by word and deed

Akanksha

This week I had the privilege of meeting and talking with Shaheen Mistri, a woman born in Mumbai, India (who lived in 13 countries growing up) who, at age 18, started a center for Indian children who are underserved by their country's public school system. Now about age 29, Shaheen has started over 50 of these centers, which run after school, parallel educational and social programs for children (from those entering school to those graduating from grade 10, their highest grade before two year college). I was struck by the similarities of issues faced by Shaheen and her team that face those of us in urban education in America, as well as a whole host of different conditions that make their job harder in many ways.

Shaheen visited many elementary and high schools during her visit here (AUSL and San Miguel elementary schools, plus quite a few charter middle and high schools, like Noble Street, Young Women's Leadership, and Perspectives). She participated in a roundtable of education leaders (with the likes of New Leaders for New Schools founder John Schnur, San Miguel founder Bro. Ed, Teach for America and IL Network of Charter Schools E.D.s, Joyce Fdn rep, charter school founders, plus principals like myself). I felt really out of my league, and I believe I gleaned just as much from Shaheen's visit than she did. What I took away in terms of inspiration and motivation for the work of providing quality education to traditionally underserved children and youth was invaluable. Observing what obstacles she faces compared to what we face, and yet how much progress she has made over the last decade, encourages me in the start of this new high school.

Here are some details:

India has a private school system that serves the elite (plus a couple of tiers of schooling like Catholic schools and very few public schools serving the wealthy) that function relatively well, but the public system serving the overwhelming majority of the public is challenged in terms of conditions and outcomes. Teacher quality is an issue, since teacher training is weak, teacher pay is low, people pursue teaching when they cannot do anything else so prof. prestige is low, and unions protect teachers (sound familiar?). This situation relegates poor children and families to cycles of poverty in their future since education, which could give them the means to change their social condition, is not as effective as it could be. Also, parents are largely uneducated, though enthusiastic about their children having a future (many volunteer at the centers). So the problems we see in American inner cities are not just American problems; they sound like class and city problems.

What's different than here (but actually similar in some respects) is that the undergrad programs that prepare teachers and the government that certifies them need significant work, plus about 70% of teachers are not even certified by government standards. There is not a single graduate program for principal training, so there is no leadership to recruit, select, and train teachers. Principals tend to be veteran teachers who may or may not have the ability or interest to lead a school, and in some cases the prinicpal might be a leader from another industry (like railway) who has no experience in instruction.

Another issue is facilities. School buildings need a great deal of work and often don't have adequate restrooms. Schools often consist of one or two rooms, and there may be 100 students in a class. Shaheen's organization, which cannot afford better or even separate school facilities, uses schools for free after school lets out (2 to 6pm).

In terms of results, Shaheen's teachers have made great strides comparatively but, like great cultural changers, they are not satisfied because the work is still great. In India, there is primary school (grades 1 to 5), followed by grades 6 to 10, after which you take a major test to determine eligibility for a two year college. Your performance in the two year college decides if you go to the three year college, so kids have a 15 year educational program if they are fortunate. There are teachers in the system who have gone only to grade 5. Only 10% of student make it to grade 10, whereas 65% of students in Shaheen's program attend the two year college. Some have even graduated and returned as teachers in the program, which is really exciting. In addition, other results abound, like the hope children are given for the future, the spirit of volunteerism and service that are instilled in so many of the kids there, and the holistic growth of the students.

In addition to trying to figure out how to recruit and train high quality teachers, Shaheen's group is struggling with how to expand. Whether or not or how much to join govt schools in some way is a question, as well as how to replicate what they are doing without losing the level of quality they have.

Hearing Shaheen share challenges, successes, and the resilience of the Indian children and families was tremendously encouraging, and reminded me of the situation of my African brothers and sisters in their country. I was also deeply saddened and sobered regarding obstacles the poor face everywhere, not just in America. But more than anything, I was emboldened that the work I do here of working to create real futures for urban minority youth through a strong academic and social-emotional foundation is truly needed and a worthwhile goal. It helps to know there are folks doing the same thing in very different cultures.

You can check out Shaheen's organization at akanksha.org. Peace.

DA T.R.U.T.H. and Friends Live

Just a word about the new Truth DVD (title above). It's off the chain! Just ordered it online this week and watched it yesterday, and it was awesome. It was taped at the last IMPACT Conference, and it features Da T.R.U.T.H. (rappin' w. a live band). Just a wonderful time of hip hop worship!

Guest appearances by Trip Lee, Flame, Ambassador, and CM really round out this dynamic DVD. I was encouraged, too, by the fact that CM has successfully made Bible centered, Christ centric hip hop a staple now, having passed the baton on to Truth, Trip Lee, Flame, and others. Not only that but it's powerful seeing and hearing these godly young men rap about God, putting the Lord on a pedestal, and living lives that testify to God's awesome power and grace!

Only one question: Where are the strong Christian FEMALE emcees?

I have a 19 year old special needs daughter who has multiple challenges (non verbal, developmentally delayed, incontinent, physical anomalies in fingers and hands, and so on). I tell her jokingly a lot what I want her to be when she 'grows up': a Christian female emcee. Now I've taken to telling her that in heaven I want to see her rock the mic for Jesus, and I'll be in the audience nodding my head. :-) I would love to see some daughters of Abraham, so to speak, who can flow with the same skill yet the same biblical soundness as the brothers above....

Two Is Better Than One

Okay, so I am a certified introvert. Could probably win the Couch Potato Award of the Year. My idea of a lovely Sunday afternoon is coming home from church, sitting on the couch with lunch, and watching a Columbo episode. Better yet, follow that up with a Law and Order marathon.

My sister gave me an official diagnosis years ago when we lived together (we lived together for nine years when I first graduated from college). She told me that when it comes to her, she derives energy from being around people. She is motivated and feels most alive when she is in the company of others. Occasionally she needs a break and will take a respite, 'shutting herself in' as she calls it. But not too much of that, or she will go crazy. I, on the other hand, am the opposite. Being by myself alone with my thoughts energizes me. Being with people drains me. I can take some of it for a while, but then I must go off and fill myself from the well of solitude.

Funny, then, how alive I felt today when I spent time 'collaborating' with my new co worker, an assistant principal who just came on board. We walked through our new building, looking at possibilities, at what can be, in that space to motivate students. We shared ideas about school routines that will build positive culture. And we planned great things for tomorrow's family meeting. Wow! When we share like that, time seems to fly. We even shared tales of sexual discrimination, how at times our leadership is not taken as seriously by people (men), and we have to prove we are not sex objects. (The last topic of conversation resulted from earlier that day when I introduced her to a staff person, who said, "Wow, we have some young meat coming on board." Can you believe that? And this is 2007.) We also discussed potential bumps in the road we see down the line, but resolved to work, together, for our students' good.

The Bible says that 'two are better than one, for they have greater reward for their labor' (somewhere in Ecclesiastes). I believe it was Solomon who noted the warmth that comes from having a thought partner, and the practicality as well (the 'greater reward' mentioned earlier, plus the support when one of you is down).

This week in my quiet times I've been studying the life of Daniel, and I'm reminded today that he had three friends his age (Shad, Mesh, and Abed). I'm sure having their support made it easier for him to stand tall in a culture that was very foreign to him.

As collaborative as I like to think I am, I really do prefer the company of myself (natural bent). But even I, introvert exhibit A, am enriched tremendously when I have a partner in the game.

Good Movie

Okay, so I went away for like a day to get some rest and stuff, and I watched a good movie at this hotel. The name of the movie is "Breach" and it was starring Ryan Philippe (not one of my favorite actors, but he does a pretty decent job in this pic). I forgot the name of the dude who plays Philippe's emissary, but he was good, too, as was the female FBI leader (she's played in tons of stuff, but she's the kinda actress where no one really remembers her name -- only her face).

Anyway, what was interesting was the movie was based on a true story. (After I watched it, I googled the story and listened to an NPR interview with Eric O'Neill, the real FBI wanna be or upstart who took down Robert Hanssen, real life American spy.) It's about this young guy who's interested in becoming an FBI agent, and he's given a tough case that will determine whether he makes it into the agency or not. The test is to take down this spy, who has been an FBI agent for a very long time and who is mad intelligent. As an aside (and this part is true, too) this spy is a sexual deviant who videotapes having sex with his wife and sends it to people w.o her permission. Ironically, he's also a devout Catholic.

Of course, I loved the young upstart trying to prove himself theme, and the proving himself opposite the older, wicked so-called boss was even more interesting to me. So was the rookie's challenge of figuring out if he had what it took to be an agent (some moments of self doubt, combined with struggles over whether or not to trust his superior, resonated w. me, as did his boss's combination flawed personality and vulnerability emotionally). What also tripped me out was that most of this movie was really true. Unlike tons of movies that are loosely based on true stories, this one stuck to the facts mostly (just google Hanssen and O'Neill, and you'll see).

Finally, reading about Hanssen was pretty sad -- hearing how many lives he compromised by selling U.S. secrets. And, hearing that he may have given info that helped bin Laden w. 9/11. Interesting, this world of spies, that is. Makes me wonder what makes a person a traitor. Hmmmm.....

Spades

Hiring staff is like playing spades. You have a limited number of options, and what cards you select depend upon a variety of factors: how strong the suit or number is in relation to other cards, in what order you can play the cards to make the most possible books, and so on. Finding the right folks for your team is pretty complex. It's more than just what hard skills the person has, though that's the minimum requirement. It's also what that person brings to the table outside of those hard skills: coachability, willingness to work as a team player with other staff, heart for students, and other expertise or background. Plus, it's how that person fits into the existing team -- what they might add or detract in terms of diversity, team spirit, stability, etc. And you have to find people who are not just good for kids, but who are good for adults, too, since working with kids is only part of the job. And there's no perfect candidate. You have to balance the candidate's needs with those of others, weighing how much you're really able to invest in them and if they can help you mold others. You also have to have a vision for where you want the school to go long-term, and if that person can help you get there. Man, this stuff is hard!

Education Funding - Part II

Here are some one-page summaries of the proposed legislation to improve the way public education is funded in IL (proposed by Emil Jones and Gov. Blagojevich).

http://www.ieanea.org/resources/28/Tax%20Fairness%20Plan/Understanding_the_Tax_Fairness_Plan.PDF

and...

http://www.ieanea.org/resources/28/Tax%20Fairness%20Plan/Education%20and%20the%20Tax%20Fairness%20Plan%20faq.pdf


Here's a summary of similar legislation, HB/SB 750, another plan to reform public education funding, this time through increasing income tax and sales tax.

http://www.ctbaonline.org/New_Folder/Education/Fact_Sheet_750_Package_3-2007.pdf

http://64.233.167.104/search?q=cache:7kjXMugJL2gJ:www.workwelfareandfamilies.org/PDF/Fact_Sheet_750_FastFacts.pdf+hb/sb+750&hl=en&ct=clnk&cd=4&gl=us

Education Funding

With IL legislators deliberating on alternative means of funding public education, I was struck by this recent article in the New York Times Magazine.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/12/education/12middle.html?ex=1179633600&en=b11db2c011747c17&ei=5070&emc=eta1

This article is about an East Coast public middle school that could serve as a model for educating youngsters in this difficult transition period. The school's creative curriculum, along with its intentional approach to social and emotional learning, were interesting.

What was striking, though, was the almost $25,000 per pupil the school has to spend. Because I just finished budget for my school for next year, I couldn't help but note that amount is over three times the amount we spend per pupil in Chicago (almost $7K per pupil for high school, and even less for grades K-8).

I know money is not the only factor in effectively educating students, but it certainly does make a difference. When administrators have to feverishly seek grants (additional funding) to provide
basics (like extra staff to tutor students who struggle severely or an assistant principal when the school is small or a counselor for every grade or a social worker or money for the social-emotional programs this East Coast school has), it is frustrating to see other schools for whom these matters are not an issue. When I talk to principal friends who are more than capable and willing to provide ongoing, quality staff development, but who lack the funding to do so, I almost want to cry because the bottom line is students being shortchanged on their education -- on their future.

I firmly believe students from low-income areas can achieve at the highest levels when certain conditions are set by the adults around them: high expectations, laser-like focus on learning, ongoing use of data, commitment to teacher development, and so on. Doing so requires creativity with use of finances, dogged pursuit of outside resources, and so on. For instance, in order for my school to run as it should, I have three additional streams of revenue outside the city's per pupil spending: two grants and the financial support of our non-profit operator.

However, educating poor students always will be an uphill battle until the issue of funding is settled in this country -- until there is equity in spending per pupil.

Grandma

I was just thinking about how many good memories I have with my grandma (mother's mom). Grandma Nola, who's 82 years old, is responsible for probably most of the good memories I have from childhood. With the chaotic home we were raised in, going to Grandma and Grandpa's almost every weekend was a welcome respite. Grandma was the one who took time to play with us -- the board game Trouble was a favorite of ours, as was Chinese checkers. Laying in Grandma's big bed, watching Carol Burnett or the Mary Tyler Moore show, was pure heaven to us. So was going downtown to McCrory's or Woolworth's, five and dime stores, every Saturday. My grandmother taught us how to wash and fold clothes and how to clean a house, teaching us lessons within the lessons, like how important it is to do your best the first time around, and it will save you from having to go back and do the job again. As simple as she was, Grandma was affirming with her words more than with her touch. If we didn't reach a goal, she would always tell us that all God asks us to do is our best, and since that satisfies Him, forget everybody else. Grandma never raised her hand to hit us not once -- though her 'shame, shame, shame', her way of expressing extreme disappointment at something we'd done, hurt like blows (wasn't often that we heard those words, though). I think my grandma also helped pass on a love of reading to us as well. Her "True Story" magazine and "Harlequin Romance" novels, not the best literature out there, were always around in huge numbers. Other good times we had were raiding Grandma Nola's jewelry drawer and trying on her costume jewelry. We fell out laughing one time when we ran across her 'falsies'! I really love my Grandma, because she showed a little girl love consistently, and her home was a veritable haven, a port in the storm, growing up the way we did.

Why Conservatives Have a Bad Rep

Check out this op-ed piece by Pat Buchanan, written in response to the V-Tech tragedy.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/uc/20070501/cm_uc_crpbux/op_332611;_ylt=AgYByL15Nro67Qa_20z.tCLq188F

Then, check out this response by author Kathy Kang, called "Resident Alien".
http://morethanservingtea.blogspot.com/

Can anyone see why conservatives have a bad rep?

Though I proudly call myself a conservative, a Christian, and an evangelical, I can understand why some believers shy away from those terms. Buchanan (insensitive conservative Catholic), Newt Gingrich (who felt the VTech tragedy would not have happened if people bore arms), and Pat Robertson (who called for Venezuelan Prez Hugo Chavez' assassination and who said Israeli PM Ariel Sharon's stroke was God's punishment for his Gaza withdrawal) all portray us in a negative light. And it's time we disassociated ourselves firmly from them in order to preserve a biblical, godly image of what it means to be a follower of Christ.

Chris Rock

Okay, so I'm slow when it comes to seeing popular movies. I don't really recommend Chris Rock's "Never Scared". Someone loaned it to me about a month ago, and I haven't been able to make it through the DVD due to the profanity. But....

Chris Rock said something funny about America. After saying repeatedly that America's the greatest country in the world, even for Blacks, he said this:

We Black Americans should be grateful to be here, but we have to be a little leery about being here. America is like that uncle that paid your way through college, but molested you. Pretty deep. Comedy's powerful.

Musings on Community Development

Today's BUILD was pretty cool. We visited the Lawndale Christian Health Center, a place I've often passed by but never stopped into. (Sorry for ending a sentence with a preposition.) Bruce Miller, COO and CFO of the center, gave us a talk about how LCHC got started, what it provides for the community, what principles it's based on, and so forth. Really well-done, informative, and open discussion about the opportunities and challenges of the work they do.

Three thinking points surfaced for me today as we sat around the table with Bruce.

The first is a question Bruce posed to us, which is one I wrestle with all the time. The question went something like, In order to change a community, is access to quality healthcare alone the whole solution? Of course not was my response. Though having a solid clinic and pharmacy with caring, competent medical professionals is certainly necessary, it is insufficient. Especially, in light of data Bruce shared about smoking habits (and the effect on children with asthma) and eating/exercise habits (and the diabetes and other conditions that result) in poor neighborhoods. These practices can only be treated -- not eliminated -- by external resources. Bruce used the data to show why LCHC needs Lawndale Church -- why it would be insufficient for the health ministry to function in an isolated way. I agree. But this matter also got me thinking about how (almost) every area of change for a community requires the community members' themselves to change -- be it education, housing (spending/savings habits), or whatever. I know this is a tough thing to think about because we don't want to go to the other extreme of blaming the victim. But I can't help but think how if we don't get this piece of the puzzle right, then we will not have the impact we can in terms of transforming or redeeming individuals, let alone a community.

Second matter. We were posed with the question of how an org. like LCDC / LCHC remains Christian while providing services for which they receive government funds. Orgs like the Y, the Salvation Army, and Christian hospitals, which have clear Christian roots but which are not particularly Christian today, were given as examples. I think this is an interesting question, esp. given how easy it is to be concerned about a cause (like social justice or health care or housing) that how you address that cause becomes a lesser priority (i.e., do we really need Christian workers in our clinic, or do we just need good people?; isn't the main thing to provide a quality service?; who cares, as long as we do it in a 'good' way?). The fact that this Lawndale guy even asked this question was impressive to me, because I think sometimes when trying to be relevant to our culture and to meet its needs, it's all too easy to lose your Christian distinctive. And when that's done, of course you can still provide a service, but it's certainly not the same. Having your doctor treat your illness and pray for you is a double blessing. And there just might be a slippery slope that starts when the distinctive's lost. On the flip side, though, I've been in a situation where the Christianity was heightened and the service provided was mediocre (or sub-par, even). In that case, I found myself wanting the service to be good even at the expense of the Christianity being gone. (ex: Who wants to go to a Christian doctor who's nice but whose medical care is so poor, you're worse off health-wise?) This is an important issue for which there are no easy answers.

Which brings me to the final point. I'm noticing a pattern. Those who embrace relocation to the city -- and who insist that this is the best and perhaps only really effective way to minister in the 'hood -- seem to have a line over which they won't cross. And that line is relocating their own kids into the local schools. I have yet to meet someone who has sent their own kids to the local schools, and I certainly understand the reasons. (And I write this knowing I'd likely do the same thing myself with my own child.) It's interesting, though, to know that there are limits to relocation. There are some points where people hold back. Will people live on the same block? Yes. Will they go to the same church? Yep. Will they use the same clinic? Definitely. Will they send their kids to the same school? Nope. Either they'll homeschool or they'll send their kids to a Christian school in the hood (or to a magnet school/charter outside of the community). I completely understand the reasons why. I don't think I would sacrifice my own child's future or safety myself. But, I think the same logic that's applied to other aspects of community living (you don't have the same level of investment if you're not present) should be applied to public education. I think if it were, we'd see a massive change in the quality of schooling. I guess everyone feels that sacrifice is too great to make, though.

More Than Serving Tea

Sukhan Wong. Jeannie Chan-Yee. Yale and Yale Christian Fellowship. Filipino mom in Bahrain. Cindy Yoon. Judson Baptist Church.

These all point to contact I've had with folks of Asian descent. I must admit that my experiences have been very limited (Sukhan was the only Asian person in my almost all Black high school and, though my college and Christian college group had more Asians than Blacks, I did not go out of my way to pursue friendships with folks in this group, even though they seemed more 'real' to me than white Christians). The closest relationship with anyone Asian I've had was with Jeannie Chan, one of my college suitemates, fellow believer and now an adjunct at Fuller, but even that friendship had its limits.

Lately different high profile incidents have thrust the Asian community into the news more, making them the topic of conversation a lot. The VA Tech tragedy, in which a Korean-American went on a killing spree at an American university campus, has everyone talking about the burden racial minorities in this country feel when one of their own commits a crime. Also, a look into the shooter's background revealed a college student full of rage, caused by mental illness but also sparked by a pattern of ridicule and alienation growing up, due to his race. In progressive Christian circles, the Youth Specialties incident, where Christian publishers printed (but later retracted and publicly apologized for!) VBS materials that were racist towards folks of Chinese background, was a topic of conversation not too long ago. In both cases, unfortunate incidents have helped bring to light the reality of being an Asian-American in this country. More Than Serving Tea, an anthology of Asian American women's writing on topics like expectations, relationships, leadership, and faith, continues to give insight on what it's like for Asian-American Christian women, in particular, who live in two cultures and have a triple challenge: being Christian, being Asian-American, and being women.

Though there are obviously differences between my upbringing and experiences as a Black Christian woman, I was surprised at how much of this book resonates with me. It was funny to hear authors write about how Asian-Americans root for entertainers and athletes who are from their background, and how they feel deeply the disappointment and shame when someone who's Asian fails in some way. Blacks do the same thing. It was interesting to hear how certain Asian cultural behaviors (like submissiveness to authority in some-not all-Asian groups) have negative ramifications for the work place. Some African-Americans, raised to respect authority, have to learn to become comfortable with 'pushing back' and expressing dissent (in a positive way), something that whites and others do naturally because of how they were raised. Though not to the same degree, I could identify with the hierarchal family structure (many Black churches still tend to be run by Black men, esp. in the South and Midwest, and many more Black families than white ones are complementarian rather than egalitarian), with the sense of loyalty to community that exists in my culture, too, and with the restraint from showing emotions that has become synonymous with being a 'strong Black woman'.

What's neat about this book is that the authors point out these challenges, but not in a spirit of anger or resentment. They do so in the spirit of Christ: naming what has made their road tough, but then going to God and His Word to help interpret their experiences. So the result is a gratitude to God for the cultures in which they were born (warts and all), a worship of the God who values them as His creation (apart from performance or race/ethnicity or gender), and a wise affirmation of the gifts of their culture yet a sensible pushing aside of anything in their culture that does not affirm their biblical worth and that does not lead them to the peace, love, and joy that Christ brings.

Can you tell I like this book? I think it's a must-read for all folks -- Christian and non-Christian, male and female, Asian or non-Asian. And the authors are: Nikkie A. Toyama and Tracey Gee (editors), Kathy Kang, Christie Heller de Leon, and Asifa Dean (contributors), and Jeanette Yep (consulting editor).

Peace.

Good Night

Tonight was a good night. Though I wasn't particularly excited about the evening at first, particularly after a long day's work, I actually did something I haven't done in a long time: had an enjoyable night out.

So my boss, my big boss, offers me some tickets to see the Joffrey Ballet. I recognize the big name, but am not super thrilled. After all, the one and only time I've ever been to a ballet was a fiasco: My sister bought tickets for my mom (Mother's Day), all of us siblings, and her best friend Angie who was in town. We went to NYC, ate a big dinner at fine restaurant, and then went to the Alvin Ailey dance performance. Maybe it was the food, maybe it was the orchestra- like music, but most of us fell asleep, and my sister was pissed. So let's say ballet and I don't have that great a relationship.

What made the evening a little more interesting was a friend's suggestion to take a former middle school student who is a high school junior now and who loves ballet. Great idea, I thought, esp. since it'd give us a chance to catch up. Jennifer was excited, but I still wasn't. I thought the evening would be ultra boring.

From the opening movement, the evening was really a beautiful one. Enthralling, engaging, amazing, funny, lovely -- all describe the dancers and their moves, the lighting, even the music. I actually enjoyed the whole performance. And, of course, Jennifer and I had a chance to find out what's been happening in one another's lives, and that was just as fun, too.

And I made it home by 10:30. What a good night.

Irresponsible Parents

Okay, so I've been trippin' lately over the huge responsibility parents have raising their kids and how it is so easy to mess up when it comes to child-rearing. Parents are human, and there's no rule book on parenting that we can follow, so a lot is learned through trial and error. One thing that's needed, though, is a willingness on the part of parents to admit their mistakes and not to act like they are the child (self-centered). Three recent celebrity situations come to mind when I think about this topic.

One is the atrocious voice mail that actor Alec Baldwin left for his 11 year-old daughter recently. What's even sadder is that when I played the clip for a friend, this person did not see anything wrong with Baldwin's ranting. The clip can be heard here:
http://www.tmz.com/2007/04/19/alec-baldwins-threatening-message-to-daughter/
This person said we don't know what the little girl did, and the problem with (white) kids today is that their parents don't discipline them, but let them do what they want. This person (who is Black) then said Baldwin talked to his daughter the way Black parents talk to their children all the time. She's right, but it's still sad. Nothing Baldwin's daughter did warrants her father's degrading, anger-filled comments.

The second is a blog entry by D-Nice, former hip hop artist of the '80s. D-Nice opens up and shares details of the pain caused by his absentee father:
http://www.d-nice.com/journal/archives/000095.php

The last is a reality show called "I Married A Baller" that I stumbled upon this weekend. One of the members of a female R&B group from the '90s married this retired football player named Eddie George, and their family activities are featured in this reality show, kind of like Run's House. Well, Eddie George's father was rarely there for him growing up but this hasn't stopped this football hero from pursuing a relationship with his dad today. He goes out of his way to invite his dad to spend time with his family, even to attend big events like his induction into the Hall of Fame. And all of this despite the fact that his dad is still struggling with drug addiction and is very uncomfortable and 'fidgety' at these gatherings. Part of Eddie George's relationship with his dad is sweet, seeing him play the role of the adult and forgive his father and try to give his father what his father didn't give him. Another part strikes me as enabling, though, and as something that should not have to be.

D-Nice and Eddie George both have made very different choices when it comes to dealing with their irresponsible fathers, and I can't say who's right and who's wrong. All I can do is mourn the fact that there are thousands of others like them -- adults struggling to deal with the wounds of parents who act(ed) more like kids than adults.

VA Tech Tragedy

My heart goes out to all those affected personally by this tragedy. I am praying and grieving with the victims' loved ones, though I know the sadness I feel is nothing compared to what they are going through.

Great shock, sadness, then anger about how easy it is to get a gun, then compassion even for the gunman (who was obviously mentally ill) were some of my initial feelings. Purposely I avoided watching too much coverage of this incident because, sadly, I did not want to feel deeply the pain and heartache I knew I would feel hearing details. Just this morning I watched the clip below my cousin sent me, and I cried.

http://cosmos.bcst.yahoo.com/ver/225/popup/index.php?cl=2418838

Just want to encourage folks to let yourselves 'feel' in this situation, and maybe it will prompt you to pray for victims' families, even for the victim himself, and vote for legislation making it more difficult to get ahold of guns, as well as for policies that serve the mentally ill.

BUILD - Part Two

Okay, so it's been a minute since the first part of this blog, but things have been kinda busy (starting a new high school, from scratch, is no joke!). Anyway, here's an update on the rest of last week's BUILD conversation that had me a bit jazzed...

Our group's conversation about community, and about whether or not you can be effective in urban ministry without relocating to the community, somehow got onto the subject of home ownership. I think one guy noted how young singles with no families sometimes buy expensive condos in one community, flip them, and then do the same thing in another community, without any consideration for how they've helped destabilize those neighborhoods (i.e., effects of gentrification). As a group we really struggled with how you improve conditions in a community without displacing folks (I think Mary Nelson talked about development without displacement the way Lupton speaks of gentrification with justice). Personally, this is an area I think all of us would like more time devoted to. Anyway, one group member (young well meaning white man) tried to make the point that home ownership is greatly overrated, and it's actually a good idea to encourage families in the 'hood to rent rather than own a home.

Well, I was really jazzed because we all know that owning property is one of the best ways to stabilize a family and a community (I'm not talking about a poor family owning a home when they aren't ready; nor am I talking about buying more home than you can afford.) I find it irresponsible to encourage working class poor to pay month after month of high rent on someone else's property, rather than pay that same money on something they will eventually own, not to mention something they can rent partially (to help pay the mortgage and/or to go towards rainy day and college and retirement savings, and to get a tax refund for annually in the meantime). The young man's point about upkeep of a home being a cost some folks don't consider before buying was well taken, but it assumed I am for going out and telling every poor person on the West side to buy a home, indiscriminately. I am in favor of working class families getting themselves in financial order and working towards that goal sooner rather than later (or not at all, which is most often the case).

Okay, another Black woman added that families who own homes in the neighborhood have a greater investment there, which this white young man refuted and couldn't understand. I pointed out how owning a home in a community does make you more concerned about litter, trash, garbage pick-up, crime, even the schools, because all of that affects not just your property value, but your quality of life. (Kind of like the point this same person made earlier about how living in the community you serve gives you a greater sense of urgency about it than living in another area of the same city!) When you are renting and bouncing from place to place, you are still concerned, but not to the same degree. Why? Because you are not invested to the same degree. Also, I noted that home ownership decreases students' mobility rate, a real problem for teachers. I know principals who bemoan the fact that their schools have mobility rates as high as 60 or 70%. Every study shows constant mobility does nothing but disrupt a child's education, social support structures, etc., undermining the learning and socialization process.

Another white gentleman responded that Jesus was homeless, and that we should go back to Acts 2. That struck me as being funny. Jesus was not rich, that much I do know, contrary to TV evangelists (His parents offered a dove and pigeon when He was born, rather than the lamb or cattle of non-poor families). But, many of Jesus' women followers had money, so much so that they supported Him from their substance. Not only that, but there were rich disciples (Joseph of Arimathea, as one of the fellas pointed out). And the Gospel hit Ceasar's household as well as his servants -- it converted Onesimus the runaway slave as well as Philemon his master.

Another response was how Jesus said don't store up treasures on earth. Okay, so was He talking about not having money, or money not having you? The latter. The Book of Proverbs speaks of a wise man leaving an inheritance for his children's children. And Jesus had a problem with the rich man because 1) he ignored Lazarus, the poor man; and 2) he left God out of his existence, living a self-led life marked by "I"s and evidenced by tons of preparation for his earthly life but no preparation for his spiritual life or for his after-life. Lastly, the NT addresses poor Christians and rich Christians (those who are rich in this world), telling the latter not to put their trust in uncertain riches and to remember the poor. Those passages tell me there will be rich and poor Christians -- everybody won't be on the same level.

The Book of Acts was history -- not a prescription. It gives us principles to live by -- not a blueprint (otherwise, we'd all be speaking in tongues like at Pentecost). Plus, the Acts 2 believers lived communally because when they became followers of Christ, many of them were persecuted (lost property, which included their homes -- check out the Book of Hebrews). So, the early church responded to an immediate need for large numbers of converted folks to have a place to live (i.e., the folks who were at Pentecost were in Jerusalem for this feast, and when they were converted, they were far away from home; later, the persecution kicked in). When you look at the church not too later, you realize folks had homes (people were praying in Peter's mother in law's home, I believe, when Peter was in prison; the apostle John warns Christians not to receive traveling false teachers into their homes; and there were even house churches -- all of which tell you folks had personal property; communal living was not long term).

I certainly agree with the fellas desire to purge American Christianity of our materialism and individualism and our tendency to, as one young white brother said, find our identity in our homes. I feel too much of today's Christianity is really white American, Western Christianity and modern philosophy in disguise (which is how you can have a prosperity gospel and how you can have politics that assume America's right since we are a 'Christian nation' -- also funny to me). However, I don't think the solution is some romantic fantasy of communal living. I think you'll find just as much sin on the commune as you will outside of it (ask Ananias and Sapphira). I think the solution lies in a return to Scripture's counsel (let's re-examine God's Word to hear His concern for the poor and His admonitions to the wealthy, and then let's live those out, and we'll be straight). People unwisely find their identities in all kinds of things -- their jobs, their loved ones, even their ministries -- but we don't advocate the elimination of those things. Instead, we support putting them in proper perspective.

Lastly, I think this situation is a prime example of the divide between white and Black Christians. Just as it was incomprehensible to me to suggest to working class poor Black folks not to pursue home ownership, my perspective was equally unfathomable to my white brothers. I think personal experience, based on race and class (as well as personal beliefs or theology) created the gap in understanding. As I stated, I know what it's like to have a mother who's almost 60, who has worked at the same job for 32 years, yet who does not have a home and does not have any retirement savings at all, and for whom retirement is nowhere in sight. Once my mother gets too old or too sick to work (which we thought was a couple of years ago with hip surgery), she will not be able to live off Social Security. By God's grace, what will keep her from being a Breakthrough client is the fact that she has adult children who can and will take her in and care for her and support her. Many people don't have that. And, as a single mother with a multiply-handicapped child whom I will care for for the rest of her life, I cannot afford to be as unwise as my hard-working mother. I must have a home and retirement savings because I have no daughter to care for me in my old age.

Two Good Books

Right now I am reading two good books:

1) Juan Williams's Enough: The Phony Leaders, Dead-End Movements, and Culture of Failure That Are Undermining Black America -- and What We Can Do About It; and

2) Mary Pattillo's Black on the Block: The Politics of Race and Class in the City

Juan Williams is a political analyst for Fox News and a panelist on Fox News Sunday (I love watching him on Sundays when I don't have to teach Sun. Sch.). He's also a correspondent for NPR.

Mary Pattillo is a prof of sociology and African-American Studies at Northwestern.

The first book, inspired by Bill Cosby's controversial comments on race and class not too long ago, is a hue and cry about self-sabotaging behavior in the Black community. In the tradition of Marcus Garvey, BTW (a bit), WEB, and others, Williams makes the case for Black self-help and self-critique. And though he aptly challenges the common man, he really takes to task our leaders.

The second book traces the recent history of the North Kenwood-Oakland part of Chicago, examining everything from their educational institutions to their housing development, to see how Blacks from various economic groups have fared in this South Side community. Very interesting...

After Imus

Okay, so now that the racist, sexist remarks of the above media man have been soundly condemned, it's time to move on to larger implications within the Black community.

Though the use of the N word and of sexist comments in hip hop certainly fail to justify Imus' statements, they do point to a broader issue that plagues our community. A friend sent me a YouTube video that I cannot even post a link to, which was filled with some of the worst caricatures of Black women and men that I have seen in some time. The video was made by a young southern African-American rapper who is extremely popular today. What is disturbing is that this 'artist' is not alone -- similar lyrics are pumped over the airwaves almost 24-7 (through radio and TV/videos), and their demand is so strong that they have made millionaires of many young Black rappers.

I'm a child of the Black ghetto, not at all shocked by some of the harsh realities that hip hop lyricists rap about. So I am saddened to see how hip hop has transformed from party music and protest music to music that glorifies the materialism and sexism of this age. Its vast popularity speaks to the fact that we have a problem as a community (and a nation), because we have no problem objectifying women on the regular (both in words and images) and we have no problem perpetuating stereotypes of our own people.

Though we didn't create Imus, we have certainly given him ammunition. It is wrong and hypocritical of us to castigate Imus and not take to task at all our own people whose words are also damaging and problematic. Do I equate Imus' statements with those of rap artists? Do I think the latters' words excuse the former's? Nope. But I do think we cannot ignore what is thrust into our face everyday: words and pictures of our women that reduce us to sex objects, and words and pictures of our men that reduce them to caricatures (pimps, criminals, etc.).

Though I was deeply hurt by Imus's remarks, I am grateful for this one thing: the incident helped shine light on a larger problem that needs to be addressed.

Today's BUILD - Part One

Okay, so today's BUILD was a mix of inspiration and frustration. Mary Nelson's hour-long overview of Bethel New Life's three-decade work in Garfield Park was awesome. I was floored by the audacity (to use her term) of community elders years ago who decided to get into housing. I was amazed by the courage and perseverance of community leaders and lay people in the face of setbacks, no's, and other struggles. And I came away jazzed by our awesome God who has done such a great work through ordinary people. The asset-based approach to community development was very instructive for me, especially as I start a new high school that I hope will be community-oriented. I was challenged to view the students and families as having individual strengths and the community as possessing a wealth of resources in their associations, institutions, cultural history, stories, and land. And then connecting those resources was a further insight. As I think about and begin to form partnerships with those outside of the community for the benefit of my students, I must do what I have said I will do and look within the community as well -- I cannot ignore what people bring to the table themselves. My prayer is: Lord, give me the eyes to see what You have placed within the West side communities, and give me the humility and courage and wisdom to tap into those resources.

Okay, so that was the inspiration part....

After Ms. Nelson left, BUILD folks sat around and talked about questions her talk had sparked within us. One question that came up was whether or not it is essential to live within the community in which you serve -- whether or not you can truly have an impact on the poor if you don't live among them. I think we all agreed that the greatest impact you can have is when you are a part of the community you seek to serve. One young man shared how (though not from personal experience) your sense of urgency about poverty issues is heightened when you live in the neighborhood and hear gunshots at night yourself, versus being told about the experience from someone else. Yet, we all know folks who support city ministry both with finances and through volunteering, but who live in the suburbs or in better parts of the city. One woman talked about friends who have grown up 'in the hood' and don't want their children to experience the trials and tribulations of city life that they did, so they move out of the hood. Another young man commented how they take resources from the city (fellow Blacks in this case) so you have Black flight. I added, though, that I know folks who have a burden for urban ministry because that was their reality growing up, but they no longer live in the community. However, they are very active and have the same (or close to it) sense of urgency that community members have.

My personal thought on this matter is that you are most effective when you are a member of the community in which you serve (you relocate and live there), but you can have a degree of effectiveness if you have a sensitivity to city issues. I personally do not think everyone is called to live in the 'hood. I think God has His people everywhere, serving in all walks of life. I don't think it's any more spiritual to minister to the homeless than it is to minister to rich college kids. However, I do think God is calling every child of His to have a heart for the city, a sensitivity to its residents' needs, and a mentality that considers and cares for the poor and needy. What this translates into varies from person to person. For some, it is using their power and clout to affect legislation that supports the forgotten -- everything from fighting for a living wage to working for a change in the way public education is funded. For others, it is spending time on a regular basis volunteering in some way. For others, like my friend who grew up in the hood and no longer lives there, it is mentoring young people in foster family situations while caring for her daughters as a single mom. This woman is not concerned only with going to her daughter's volleyball games and dance recitals; she goes to the sports events of the youth she mentors, pays for them to have dance lessons along with her daughters, and makes sure they get into college as well as her daughter. Yet she doesn't live in the hood. But no one would say she has taken her resources away from the hood and abandoned those who could benefit from her example and her means.

Just my thoughts...

Bet You Didn't Know...

... about these famous people who suffer(ed )from bipolar disorder (a.k.a. manic-depression)

Alvin Ailey
Buzz Aldrin, astronaut
Hans Christian Anderson, writer
Honors de Balzac
Ned Beatty, writer
Beethoven
Maurice Benard (Sonny, General Hospital)
William Blake, poet
Art Buchwald, writer, humorist
Tim Burton, artist, movie director
Lord Byron
Drew Carey
Jim Carrey
Dick Cavett, writer, media personality
Agatha Christie
Winston Churchill, prime minister
Rosemary Clooney, singer
Francis Ford Coppola, director
Charles Dickens
Emily Dickinson
Patty Duke
T.S. Eliot
Ralph Waldo Emerson
William Faulkner
Carrie Fisher, writer, actress
Robert Frost
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Connie Francis
Sigmund Freud
Cary Grant
Graham Greene, writer
Alexander Hamilton, politician
Mariette Hartley
Victor Hugo
Phyllis Hyman
Jack London
Robert Lowell, poet
Marilyn Monroe
Mozart
Kristy McNichol
Isaac Newton
Florence Nightingale
Jane Pauley
J.C. Penney
Plato
Poe
Charley Pride
Theodore Roosevelt
St Francis
Sidney Sheldon
Rod Steiger, film maker
Robert Louis Stevenson
Ben Stiller
Liz Taylor, actor
Mark Twain, author
Alfred, Lord Tennyson, poet
Ted Turner, entrepreneur, media giant
Jean-Claude Van Damme, athlete, actor
Vincent van Gogh
Kurt Vonnegut
Walt Whitman, poet
Robin Williams
Tennessee Williams, author
Jonathan Winters, comedian, actor, writer, artist
Robert E Lee, soldier
Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865), US President
Samuel Johnson, poet
Burgess Meredith, 1908-1997, actor, director

To name a few…

Adult Advocacy

Okay, so I've always known this truth, but I'm realizing it more deeply lately, and it is this:
children's and youths' education is heavily a factor of what I call adult advocacy.

As I visit elementary schools to speak with 8th graders directly about our new high school, almost without exception, the youth are eager about the opportunity. I am well-received, and that reception is shown by the kinds of questions asked and, even when some students don't ask questions, by their attentiveness. What's been really eye-opening for me has been the contrast in the commitment of guidance counselors and teachers across schools.

Some schools I visit, like Tilton and Hammond, have awesome counselors who you can tell care about and are committed to their kids. These adult advocates, as I call them, go to great lengths to make sure their students complete and turn in applications for our school. In the case of the Hammond counselor, she and the two outstanding 8th grade teachers brought carloads of students to two open house sessions when most of their parents could not make it, to ensure their chances for a seat in our school. The counselor at Tilton, a school I visited later in my recruitment efforts, had already worked to have most of her 8th graders already placed in good schools even before I came. There were only about 8 students still in need of placement when I came in early April, a sign, as I told the counselor, that she is doing her job and doing right by her kids.

What's been saddening, though, are schools where the adult advocates aren't advocating. At one school I went to this week, I told the counselor about our website and how an application could be downloaded from it and copied for students (since I only had limited copies on me). This woman proceeded to complain how she's a counselor yet doesn't have a printer. When I asked if there were any other printers in the building, she said yes hesitatingly, but said they belong to other people and she doesn't want to use them. Then she added that she isn't willing to use her printer at home for school purposes. Whatever 'beef' this counselor has with other adults in the building, what was communicated to me was that she does not care enough about students to even make sure they get an application for a good school. It's no wonder that out of several classes of 8th graders, only 6 had been placed so far in this school (in contrast to the 8 who had not been placed in the other school). Thankfully, one of the 8th grade teachers had a printer in his classroom, but the counselor's only question for me (which she asked publicly when I opened the floor for students to ask questions) was whether or not we were a charter. What does that have to do with the price of tea in China? I was proud to say we were not, but what if we were? What difference would that make for kids? In all the questions I've been asked by kids, never has any student asked whether or not our school is a charter. That's because that issue is an adult one -- not a kid one. And again, the counselor showed her true colors: she was more concerned with herself than with her students.

What have I learned from these visits? Well, first and foremost, I am thankful for those God placed around me when I was young who advocated for me in some way or another -- for those who took up the slack from what was missing in my home so that I could have a future. My sister is top of the list. My aunt, grandparents, and Sunday School teacher are not too far behind. Some of my teachers at school make the list, too.

What needs to happen in the lives of youth today is they need other adults to take up the slack, so to speak, when those who should be their advocates are not. I think about an after-school coordinator who learned about our school and encouraged youth in her program to apply. And she went the extra mile when the parent/guardian didn't show for the mandatory enrollment session to secure her seat. This after-school worker 'standing in the gap' so to speak and taking up the cause of this young girl can make the difference between a quality high school experience or a hellish one. The difference between a bright future and a gloomy one.

Adult advocates, where are you?

Of Imus and School Violence

Okay, so you can already tell that this entry will be a little scattered in topic.

Well, I must say the decision to pull the plug on Imus' radio show was music to my ears. Not that I make it a habit of relishing in another person's trials, but I was ecstatic to see the issues of racism and sexism taken seriously for a change. However, I cannot fully rejoice because I feel MSNBC (my opinion) only axed Imus in order to woo sponsors back. How convenient that Imus' firing came after Proctor and Gamble, Staple's, GM, and others pulled their ads from NBC over Imus' remarks. Don't know whether to rejoice or fume...

Oh, and I was deeply saddened to hear that, after my blog on school violence a few days ago, the next day there was another school shooting (two students shot in one incident) at the same school I talked about in my blog before. Though I was pleased to learn this shooting was accidental (a student brought a gun to school and accidentally it went off and shot another student in the thigh and the bullet richocheted and caught the shooter, I think), I was still gloomy over the fact that the student could get the gun into the building in the first place. I am not surprised, though, because on two different occasions I visited the school to see a teacher, and both times I entered an open door that had no security guard (not the front door), and never in the building did anyone ask me (or a colleague who also visited) what we were there for (even though we stayed for over an hour each time). Not safe at all....

Why Al Sharpton Is Popular (And Why It's Hard To Hold Onto Hope)

At a BUILD alumni meeting a few months ago, we were discussing why the voices of the Revs. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are so popular among African-Americans when these men themselves have tainted pasts and often come across as self-promoting demagogues. When I discussed the angst I feel about having these men serve as the voice of the people, given their motives and pasts are not exactly pure, one African-American man asked, "Joyce, isn't any voice better than no voice at all?" At the time, I wasn't sure.

After the Don Imus-Rutgers U. Female Basketball Team incident, I found myself cheering Al Sharpton on as he demanded disciplinary action of the racist radio host. At the time, I did not care about Sharpton's questionable history at all; I was simply grateful that someone was horrified by the same injustice I was, and cared enough to speak up and to speak out.

My gratitude soon turned into sadness, though, when I waited day after day for members of the evangelical community to say something about this incident. Not only were the folks silent who I expected to be silent (the James Dobsons, Jerry Falwells, and Pat Robertsons of the world, and those like them), but folks I expected to speak up were quiet as well. No blog entries expressing horror and disgust over Imus' clearly stereotypical views. Nope. I wonder why. Maybe a desire not to be 'negative'. Now I can see why Black Muslims were so popular in the sixties.

I also thought about my best friend Barbara, who attended Rutgers U. as an undergrad many years ago. She told me about a time when her white roommate, unbeknownst to her, copied her paper, and how their professor automatically assumed she was the person who cheated. The professor called Barbara in and chided her for copying from the white roommate. The look in Barbara's eyes as she explained how it didn't even enter her professor's mind that she had actually been the bright and hard-working one, was pretty painful to see. The expectation of being incompetent, of being 'less than', is truly devastating.

So whether degrading views are voiced based on intelligence, or based on appearance (as in the case of the basketball players), great damage has been done.

Reminds me of this Countee Cullen poem entitled, ironically, "Incident": (and not knowing who Countee Cullen is is another sad commentary on Blacks being ignored in America)

"Incident"

Once riding in old Baltimore,
Heart-filled, head-filled with glee,
I saw a Baltimorean
Keep looking straight at me.
Now I was eight and very small,
And he was no whit bigger,
And so I smiled, but he poked out
His tongue, and called me, "Nigger."
I saw the whole of Baltimore
From May until December;
Of all the things that happened there
That's all that I remember.

Langston Hughes - "I Dream A World"

Here's the great poem by the Shakespeare of the Harlem Renaissance:

"I Dream A World"

I dream a world where man
No other man will scorn,
Where love will bless the earth
And peace its paths adorn.
I dream a world where all
Will know sweet freedom's way,
Where greed no longer saps the soul
Nor avarice blights our day.
A world I dream where black or white,
Whatever race you be,
Will share the bounties of the earth
And every man is free,
Where wretchedness will hang its head
And joy, like a pearl,
Attends the needs of all mankind--
Of such I dream, my world!

I Dream A School

For a little over a week now, I have not been able to get out of my mind a conversation I had with a young girl at our youth retreat. She doesn't go to our church, so this was my first time meeting her. A sophomore, she commented how she does not like to go to school. When I inquired why, she proceeded to point to the huge scar on the side of her face.

This teenager then told me about how she was cut in the face by a girl who goes to her school, and how the scar looks much better because it was much bigger. When I asked what happened to the girl, I was told she was allowed back into the school, and cut another girl in her throat. The fear that this sophomore has of being a victim of violence is a harsh reality, and it's keeping her from having a normal high school experience.

Just so happens that at this retreat, I had in my pocket a newspaper clipping of her high school (not knowing it was hers when I put the article in my pocket). Her school was in the paper for two incidents where students were shot in the school parking lot -- two times this school year. I clipped the article because I visited the school twice to see a teacher there, and I thought of how I could've easily been a victim of violence intended for someone else.

The sad reality is that this situation is not unique. Incidents of violence like this occur all the time in inner city high schools. When discussing this situation with a youth worker later at the retreat, he recounted how his brother was 'shot up' very badly at his high school, and returned.

What is going on in our schools? I dream a school where students will be able to learn in a safe environment. I dream a school where youngsters will be able to focus on their studies, on fostering healthy relationships with one another, and on dreaming about and planning for their bright futures.

I dream a school...

Why I Love Hip Hop

Okay, so I could write all day on this matter, but I'm going to just focus on one reason right now:

Hip hop is the voice of the masses; it is the language of the streets. Like it or lump it, hip hop is a major vehicle through which common folks get to have their say -- to let their voice be heard. Granted, sometimes the voice is angry, sometimes it's materialistic and misogynistic (hope I spelled that right), and sometimes it is downright selfish and unbiblical. At other times that voice is insightful, poignant, compassionate, and powerful. Either way, it's still the voice of the people.

Like other music and art forms, hip hop expresses the sentiments of the day; it exposes the philosophies and belief systems of many people of its time. This is what is meant when you hear rappers defend themselves against criticism, simply stating that they are "keeping it real", writing about reality and what they see, being honest, and reflecting society. Though I disagree that mirroring the age is the primary duty of artists, on one level I see their point. Wanna know what common folks of our day value and believe? Listen to their poets, hip hop artists.

This does not mean I blindly accept or support hip hop (culture) in its totality. No, like other cultures, I am affirming of its positives and critical of its negatives and yes, today's hip hop is not all good. I can understand the concerns of those who bemoan lyrics that: 1) objectify women, 2) glorify criminal activities and immoral practices that land many of my people behind bars or unproductive, and 3) fail to use its mass appeal and influence to uplift the masses. However,I cannot listen to hip hop for long without its words resonating within my heart. When rappers point out injustices and hypocrisies and pains of human existence, people can 'feel' them; that is one of the main reasons rap is so popular.

Well, this post is too long already. I'm going to end with some Tupac and Biggie ("Running/Dyin' To Live") - words that encapsulate the frustration of many (not just poor Blacks):

"Why am I fighting to live, If I'm just living to fight?

Why am I trying to see, When there ain't nothing in sight?

Why am I trying to give, When no one gives me a try?

Why am I dying to live, If I'm just living to die?"

Good Read

Right now I am reading an excellent book by D.A Carson called Becoming Conversant with the Emerging Church: Understanding a Movement and Its Implications. I highly recommend this book for all Christians to read. Essentially it examines the emerging/emergent church movement and what is right and what is wrong about it. The author gives a pretty even-handed analysis, being more gracious than I likely would have been in terms of presenting the movement's strengths, and being humbly honest in assessing its weaknesses. This book is a must-read for any Christian who wants to respond biblically to our post-modern culture.

Competing Interests

Okay, so I'm going to weigh in on the whole upcoming presidential election thing.

This morning as I listened to the news, I thought how untrue the statement is that anybody can become president. As I heard newscasters rattle off just how much money various presidential hopefuls have raised for their campaigns ($24 mil I think was the tops), I thought about how unlikely it is that someone born poor has making it to the Executive Seat. I don't want to sound negative and I don't want to discourage progress, but it takes a great deal of money and connections to reach that position. The candidate I would vote for in a heartbeat, Dennis Kucinich, probably won't even be in the running because I doubt he could raise a fraction of what Edwards, McCain, and others have managed to amass for their runs.

And this whole Obama thing has me tripping. On one hand, I am so proud of this candidate of color, and I am infuriated by racist comments like Sen. Biden's. On the other hand, I am frustrated with Al Sharpton and others who allude to the fact that Obama is not 'Black enough', that his journey has not been that of other Black presidential hopefuls, and that he does not defer enough to Black America. Yes, I respect the fact that Sharpton and others don't want Obama to assume he has the Black vote, and that they want Obama to really represent the interests of African-Americans. However, there's something in Sharpton's tone and comments that smack of the whole 'crabs in a barrel' metaphor...

And one more thing: Should I vote for Obama or Hillary? Both, along with Edwards, represent my interests more than any Republican candidate (and I just can't stand Guiliani). But, even in preliminary discussions over who I should vote for, it seems my people of color expect me to show racial allegiance and to ignore the fact that though I am Black, I am a woman, also. Hillary has more political experience than Obama, but I know there are a lot of very experienced congressmen/women for whom I wouldn't cast my ballot. I dunno. I think this political campaign will be a very interesting one....

Suffering

Today I read in Paul's letter to the Church at Colosse:

"Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh I do my share on behalf of His body, which is the church, in filling up what is lacking in Christ's afflictions.

Of this church I was made a minister according to the stewardship from God bestowed on me for your benefit, so that I might fully carry out the preaching of the word of God,..." (1:24-25)

What initially stood out to me from these verses is the oddness of Paul rejoicing in his sufferings. I was struck by how unusual and illogical it is to respond to suffering with joy. Then I thought back to Paul in other places (how in Acts 5:41, he and others rejoiced that they were counted worthy to suffer for Christ's name; and how another prison letter, this time to the Philippians, abounded with references to being joyful, though his natural condition of imprisonment left a lot to be desired). So as odd as this response is to me, at least Paul is consistent!

Then I thought about the words of Jesus Christ Himself: that our attitude towards suffering for Him (persecuted was the term He used) should be rejoicing (Matthew 5:10-12).

My next thought was, "Why? Why in the world would anyone respond to any kind of suffering with joy?" Well, in the case of suffering for Christ and His Church, there are numerous reasons: 1) It is an honor to be connected with Christ, even by suffering for Him and as He did; 2) Jesus said our heavenly reward is great when we are persecuted for Him; and 3) Suffering to share Christ and His Gospel with others is worth it when we see folks' present lives and eternal destinies forever changed by the transforming power of salvation.

Well, my thoughts now turned inward. I asked myself, "Joyce, what is your attitude toward suffering for Christ?" Wish I could say something different, but it wasn't pretty. My tendency is to shrink back from it, avoid it at all costs, even rail against those at whose hands I suffer. Part of this is natural and understandable. I mean, who in her right mind signs up for the school of suffering? No one. But there is another part of me that seeks to avoid association with Christ and His work simply because of the suffering it brings. And that is not good. It is tantamount to being ashamed of Christ.

Next my mind moved to a rather basic but oft-overlooked point: We will suffer for Christ. The how differs depending on our situation or locale, but the fact remains the same. I believe it was Timothy who made the observation that ALL who live godly in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution. This remark does not mean we should be anti-culture or that we should disengage from the world around us. It simply means salt doesn't just preserve; it stings. Light doesn't just illuminate; it hurts the eyes and it exposes the dirt. Jesus said some people didn't receive Him because He was the Light and they loved darkness more because their deeds were evil and they didn't want anyone shedding light on them. What's really bugged is Jesus' comments to His disciples about their new relationship with the world. In a word, he characterized it as HATE. Dang! Check out John 15:18-25. Contrary to the beliefs of my post-modern-loving friends, Jesus' language in this passage is pretty exclusive rather than inclusive. There is clearly an in and an out group. There is a sharp dichotomy of those who belong to Him and those who do not. And there's not a hint of arrogance in Jesus' relation of these realities; He's just kicking the facts. And it's like He's preparing His followers for what they will experience (antagonism and hostility at times from those in the world) so that they will not be devastated when they go through it. And get this: Jesus used Himself as the prime example of being hated by the world and suffering at its hands.

My take-aways:
Joyce, never fear being who you are, whether it is at work or with dissenting Christians. Never fear the feelings of being different, of being an outcast or oddball, that come from being associated with Christ. Don't try to blend in so much that you lose your Christian uniqueness, your distinctiveness (salt is then good for nothing). Don't hide your light under a bushel. If you do, how will folks be drawn to the Light?

And from the example of Jesus, Paul, and other martyrs, it's clear that my response to persecution and suffering for Christ should never be physical retaliation or even feelings of superiority or arrogance (all were mad humble) or even being ashamed of the Gospel so much so that I cease to share it or cease to live it. No, the response is to commit myself to the One who is able to keep me and to even use me amidst my suffering.

A Glimpse of Heaven

Today I visited another church to share about my new school. When the choir belted out "He reigns forever!" and "All hail King Jesus!" at the top of their lungs, and I saw a choir full of folks (male and female, young and old, light-skinned and dark, casually dressed and dressed up) worshipping the LORD without abandon, I tell you, my heart was full. I declare, I began to smile with joy at the thought that in heaven we will be worshipping our God corporately, in unison and on one accord, possibly like this. So it was with glee that I stood up and added my voice to the resounding chorus.

But almost as quickly as the heaven thought flashed through my mind, another one popped up. I recalled the passage in Revelation that talks about a multitude praising God in heaven, and I couldn't help but remember that the chorus there will be comprised of people from every nation. So I felt a twinge of sadness mixed in with joyful praise. Kind of like the mixed feelings we get when we experience the 'already/not yet' aspects of the Kingdom (salvation from sin's penalty -- already; salvation from sin's presence -- not yet; touches of God's physical healing -- already; complete healing to come in heaven -- not yet).

I also began to think if I'll ever be a part of a non-diverse church again. Not likely. Though I didn't select my current home church because it was racially/ethnically diverse, I must say that I have grown to enjoy it and, thanks to Pastor's teachings, to see that it represents God's heart. And, the thought of that Revelation passage is so appealing that I want to ever move towards it -- not away from it. In fact, it's got me thinking about my friendships and my work relationships, and how I can be more intentional in creating cross-cultural friendships.

Just got me wondering....

"After these things I looked, and behold, a great multitude which no one could count, from every nation and all tribes and peoples and tongues, standing before the throne and before the Lamb, clothed in white robes, and palm branches were in their hands; and they cry out with a loud voice, saying, "Salvation to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb." And all the angels were standing around the throne and around the elders and the four living creatures; and they fell on their faces before the throne and worshiped God, saying, "Amen, blessing and glory and wisdom and thanksgiving and honor and power and might, be to our God forever and ever. Amen." (Revelation 7:9-12)