"I shall create! If not a note, a hole.
If not an overture, a desecration."
These lines from the Gwendolyn Brooks poem "boy breaking glass" speak volumes to the need of all people, children and youth included, to realize their dreams and live up to their God-given potential. And these lines also speak to the tragedy that happens when the cries for self- actualization within us are muted by the circumstances of life. All too often, the violence, crime, and self-destruction that we see in our urban areas is a cry to be heard, to make one's mark, to exert one's influence over something, even if that influence is more harmful than constructive.
It's what gives the young men in our ghettos a sick sense of power by committing crimes
it's what makes my daughter love Bisou....
Sunday, December 17, 2006
"To Be Of Use", by Marge Piercy
This is one of my favorite poems. My department chair gave it to us English teachers as she resigned her position to start her own school. It's stayed in my heart ever since, and I shared it with family and friends when I left NJ for seminary in TX. (Don't quite know if they understood or appreciated it, though.)
Recently, I've seen this poem shared two or three times, so thought I'd post it, as it's always been a source of inspiration to me.
Wanna hear it, here it go....
To Be of Use by Marge Piercy
The people I love the best
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half-submerged balls.
I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.
I want to be with people who submerge
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.
The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.
But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.
Recently, I've seen this poem shared two or three times, so thought I'd post it, as it's always been a source of inspiration to me.
Wanna hear it, here it go....
To Be of Use by Marge Piercy
The people I love the best
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element,
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half-submerged balls.
I love people who harness themselves, an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo, with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and the muck to move things forward,
who do what has to be done, again and again.
I want to be with people who submerge
in the task, who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass the bags along,
who are not parlor generals and field deserters
but move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in or the fire be put out.
The work of the world is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands, crumbles to dust.
But the thing worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies, clean and evident.
Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn, are put in museums
but you know they were made to be used.
The pitcher cries for water to carry
and a person for work that is real.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
More on BUILD
Okay, so we're in our, um, 6th week or so of BUILD. I regret I missed the past two weeks b.c. the group visited some cool places -- CURE and Bethel New Life, I think. This past week we went to the local precinct and learned about the average crimes that are committed and the rise in juvenile and female offenders. The officer who gave us a guided tour was very knowledgeable about the police and justice system, as well as about human and social problems. 'Speaking for himself' and not the dept., he had wonderful words of wisdom about the tendency of legal system to harshly penalize all drug-related crimes and the dearth of social services to help addicts get clean and ex-cons to get jobs and get back on the right track. Even exposing such institutional ills that make city life tough for all, this officer also gently berated residents for letting our families and educational system and spiritual base erode. These structures and forces used to be stronger and now they are sorely suffering. So there was some talk of personal responsibility, though it wasn't worded as such.
What left me thinking from the meeting were a couple of things:
1) The main thing was whether or not there is really hope to change the status quo. At times when you take a tough, 'realistic' look, you end up depressed and hopeless, which I don't think is what God wants and I don't think is very useful. How do you really change people's lives holistically (spiritually and naturally, both their hearts and their circumstances), let alone whole communities of folks or whole institutional structures that are so oppressive, racist, and even classist? I know the cliches that talk about making change one person at a time, but, as one sister in the group mentioned, when change is so slow, it's easy to get discouraged. I can honestly see why some folks turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to the plight of those in the inner city. On one level, it's like what I did with the Tsunami tragedy and others like it that are so catastrophic: closed my eyes, turned the TV off, and tried to put it out of mind b.c. it was so overwhelming. But Lord, that's not what our Savior did. The masses, who were like sheep w.o a shepherd, caused Jesus to be moved w. compassion. He didn't draw away from them, like so many people do when they look at TT, my daughter who has an unusual disability. No, Jesus was drawn TO them -- even to the dreaded outcast lepers. Lord, I pray that you make my heart tender again and that you soften me w.in so that my reaction is not to run and put my head in the sand but to FEEL, b.c. feeling leads to action....
2) How do you measure progress? How do you know that you are really making a difference? Yeah, yeah, we can say all the things we're supposed to say, like God just requires that we are faithful, and that our Western society has programmed us to think that if we're not seeing 'results', then the endeavor isn't worthwhile. I am certainly the first person to decry the mindset that measures success by numbers of people or other superficial things. However, I have also seen Christian groups that operate so loosely and seriously reflect (objectively, w. an outside view) so lamely that a healthy dose of "Are you carrying out your mission?" is needed. Steve, I think you're right. The answer is in re-defining success, but I think success has to be defined. Even if we concede that some of it will be undefinable. Okay, I'm starting to not make sense, so I must be tired...
The third and last thing I'm thinking about as a result of the last (and every) BUILD mtg is the whole personal responsibility vs. institiutional blame thing. No easy answer there. Just a caution to include both and not to swing to either extreme. I think conservatives foolishly over-emphasize personal responsibility, which keeps them from seeing (and therefore dismantling) institutional racism. On the other hand, I think liberals just as foolishly over-emphasize institutional factors, which keeps them from seeing (and therefore dismantling) factors within the culture and mindset of the poor and others that contribute to the problem. Need to say a quick prayer for balance....
Peace.
What left me thinking from the meeting were a couple of things:
1) The main thing was whether or not there is really hope to change the status quo. At times when you take a tough, 'realistic' look, you end up depressed and hopeless, which I don't think is what God wants and I don't think is very useful. How do you really change people's lives holistically (spiritually and naturally, both their hearts and their circumstances), let alone whole communities of folks or whole institutional structures that are so oppressive, racist, and even classist? I know the cliches that talk about making change one person at a time, but, as one sister in the group mentioned, when change is so slow, it's easy to get discouraged. I can honestly see why some folks turn a deaf ear and a blind eye to the plight of those in the inner city. On one level, it's like what I did with the Tsunami tragedy and others like it that are so catastrophic: closed my eyes, turned the TV off, and tried to put it out of mind b.c. it was so overwhelming. But Lord, that's not what our Savior did. The masses, who were like sheep w.o a shepherd, caused Jesus to be moved w. compassion. He didn't draw away from them, like so many people do when they look at TT, my daughter who has an unusual disability. No, Jesus was drawn TO them -- even to the dreaded outcast lepers. Lord, I pray that you make my heart tender again and that you soften me w.in so that my reaction is not to run and put my head in the sand but to FEEL, b.c. feeling leads to action....
2) How do you measure progress? How do you know that you are really making a difference? Yeah, yeah, we can say all the things we're supposed to say, like God just requires that we are faithful, and that our Western society has programmed us to think that if we're not seeing 'results', then the endeavor isn't worthwhile. I am certainly the first person to decry the mindset that measures success by numbers of people or other superficial things. However, I have also seen Christian groups that operate so loosely and seriously reflect (objectively, w. an outside view) so lamely that a healthy dose of "Are you carrying out your mission?" is needed. Steve, I think you're right. The answer is in re-defining success, but I think success has to be defined. Even if we concede that some of it will be undefinable. Okay, I'm starting to not make sense, so I must be tired...
The third and last thing I'm thinking about as a result of the last (and every) BUILD mtg is the whole personal responsibility vs. institiutional blame thing. No easy answer there. Just a caution to include both and not to swing to either extreme. I think conservatives foolishly over-emphasize personal responsibility, which keeps them from seeing (and therefore dismantling) institutional racism. On the other hand, I think liberals just as foolishly over-emphasize institutional factors, which keeps them from seeing (and therefore dismantling) factors within the culture and mindset of the poor and others that contribute to the problem. Need to say a quick prayer for balance....
Peace.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
The Great Equalizer
Let's see..... Who's right?
Horace Mann (U.S. educator, the first great American advocate of public education, 1796-1859):
"Education, then, beyond all other devices of human origin, is the great equalizer of the conditions of men, the balance-wheel of the social machinery." OR
William Osler (Canadian physician, 1849-1919):
"Work is the open sesame of every portal, the great equalizer in the world, the true philosopher's stone which transmutes all the base metal of humanity into gold."
Booker T. Washington: "The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what a man or woman is able to do that counts...At the bottom of education, at the bottom of politics, even at the bottom of religion, there must be for our race economic independence... Dignify and glorify common labor. It is at the bottom of life that we must begin, not at the top." OR
W.E.B. DuBois:
"The purpose of education is not to make men carpenters, but to make carpenters men...It is the trained, living human soul, cultivated and strengthened by long study and thought, that breathes the real breath of life into boys and girls and makes them human, whether they be black or white, Greek, Russian or American...All men cannot go to college but some men must; every isolated group or nation must have its yeast, must have for the talented few centers of training where men are not so mystified and befuddled by the hard and necessary toil of earning a living, as to have no aims higher than their bellies, and no God greater than Gold."
Seems like we've been having this debate for years, ever since the distinction was made between Cain (who was a hunter, a man of the field, Daddy's dude) and Abel (who was a 'Momma's boy', a good cook). But this issue has great import for Black inner city youth today, whose futures are being decided in part by schools that are being created in their neighborhoods. Some folks have given up hope that teens from the 'ghetto' have what it takes to go to college, so they posit a career-focused education, pushing schools that will teach these youth a trade and give them skills to earn a 'living'. Still others see the disadvantage of telling Black kids they don't have to go to college: when 90% of the fastest-growing jobs in this country require some post-secondary education, when factory jobs that could once be relied on to 'pay a good wage' are now either overseas or no longer needed in a hyper-techno age, it seems kinda sick to push something that these same folks wouldn't want for their own kids. Yet, the reality of the ghetto is hard. If kids historically have been dropping out of school because they're unprepared for the academic rigor and social demands, might it not be wise to tap into a possible desire for a hands-on kinda education, in order to motivate the youth to stay in school and then give them something for their time in high school? I dunno. Would love to hear what others think.
Feel like the Queen of Quotes today, but I haveta share this W.E.B. Du Bois one (Bill Cosby wasn't the first to utter such statements):
"A little less complaint and whining, and a little more dogged work and manly striving, would do us more credit than a thousand civil rights bills."
Horace Mann (U.S. educator, the first great American advocate of public education, 1796-1859):
"Education, then, beyond all other devices of human origin, is the great equalizer of the conditions of men, the balance-wheel of the social machinery." OR
William Osler (Canadian physician, 1849-1919):
"Work is the open sesame of every portal, the great equalizer in the world, the true philosopher's stone which transmutes all the base metal of humanity into gold."
Booker T. Washington: "The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what a man or woman is able to do that counts...At the bottom of education, at the bottom of politics, even at the bottom of religion, there must be for our race economic independence... Dignify and glorify common labor. It is at the bottom of life that we must begin, not at the top." OR
W.E.B. DuBois:
"The purpose of education is not to make men carpenters, but to make carpenters men...It is the trained, living human soul, cultivated and strengthened by long study and thought, that breathes the real breath of life into boys and girls and makes them human, whether they be black or white, Greek, Russian or American...All men cannot go to college but some men must; every isolated group or nation must have its yeast, must have for the talented few centers of training where men are not so mystified and befuddled by the hard and necessary toil of earning a living, as to have no aims higher than their bellies, and no God greater than Gold."
Seems like we've been having this debate for years, ever since the distinction was made between Cain (who was a hunter, a man of the field, Daddy's dude) and Abel (who was a 'Momma's boy', a good cook). But this issue has great import for Black inner city youth today, whose futures are being decided in part by schools that are being created in their neighborhoods. Some folks have given up hope that teens from the 'ghetto' have what it takes to go to college, so they posit a career-focused education, pushing schools that will teach these youth a trade and give them skills to earn a 'living'. Still others see the disadvantage of telling Black kids they don't have to go to college: when 90% of the fastest-growing jobs in this country require some post-secondary education, when factory jobs that could once be relied on to 'pay a good wage' are now either overseas or no longer needed in a hyper-techno age, it seems kinda sick to push something that these same folks wouldn't want for their own kids. Yet, the reality of the ghetto is hard. If kids historically have been dropping out of school because they're unprepared for the academic rigor and social demands, might it not be wise to tap into a possible desire for a hands-on kinda education, in order to motivate the youth to stay in school and then give them something for their time in high school? I dunno. Would love to hear what others think.
Feel like the Queen of Quotes today, but I haveta share this W.E.B. Du Bois one (Bill Cosby wasn't the first to utter such statements):
"A little less complaint and whining, and a little more dogged work and manly striving, would do us more credit than a thousand civil rights bills."
Saturday, September 23, 2006
BUILD - Week Two
Um, today was the second session of this very interesting, thought-provoking discussion of race and class issues. There was much more discussion than last week (though last week's dialogue was normal for a first gathering), but I'll be glad when the white folks in the group become comfortable enough to speak up more and, yes, to even debate a little more than they are doing now. This is not to say that there weren't some comments made by non-Blacks in the group. However, the talk time was overwhelmingly dominated by us African-Americans. Now, I understand a little of the why. It's difficult to speak immediately about a reality that isn't yours. So it stands to reason that Sheretta (?), Cherice, Keith, and I will have a lot of insight to shed since we've lived life in the 'ghetto'. And, there's the element (blessing and curse) that white folks don't want to say anything 'stupid' or insensitive that will give the impression that they are racist or uncaring. However, in order for I think true understanding to take place and honest dialogue to occur, there has to be the freedom to open up and to bear one's soul, no matter the risk of being misunderstood. I'm wondering whether or not we'll get to this depth of discussion during the next two months. I doubt it. It's rare for me to get to this level of sharing even w. my Christian friends who are white. (Gina is probably the exception) What a shame! But, again, another dreadful residual of horrible race relations in this country. Maybe some sort of social situation outside of these meetings will help break down some barriers.......
Another thought from today's session: I'm not comfortable being one of the (unoffiicially) designated 'spokespeople' for our race. Just when I've shared some 'insight' on inner city behavior, I start to think about the members of my race, even in the ghetto, who don't fit that stereotyped behavior, and I begin to fear I've given the impression that the Black race is a monolith and I've set up white folks unfairly for thinking they now 'understand' the why behind some things my people do. For instance, today we talked about how many Black mothers may appear not-so-nurturing because they push their children towards independence early on (i.e., encouraging them not to cry and having them take the lead in 'mature' situations like going to the doctors alone or dropping them off on a college campus alone and leaving them). On my way home, and later in the day, I thought about two caveats. One is that part of some Black mothers' insistence on their children taking on 'adult' responsibilities (like my doctor's office example) is a lack of comfort dealing w. mainstream culture. This is seen more clearly in Hispanic or Latino cultures when you have children paying bills and talking to school personnel and landlords and other authority figures -- things parents should be doing but cannot due to a language barrier. Well, the same is true in African-American poor 'hoods b.c. some adults are not comfortable engaging w. doctors and school officials, etc., so they put off that duty to children/youth (unfair, but a reality). Another thought around this issue is that there is an irony in some Black mothers' parenting of boys. Despite efforts early on to make sons 'tough' and make them into a 'man', many Black mothers paradoxically fail to hold their sons to the same standard of accountability that they hold their daughters to. For this reason, it is not uncommon to find in many homes daughters who manage to finish high school (and even go on to college), hold jobs, etc., while the sons in the same family lounge around, do nothing, make babies out of wedlock, and live off their mothers (who go to work everyday to support them). There's a saying that we Black mothers raise our daughters and spoil our sons. So this I think is another factor that plays into the problem of single-parenthood in our communities.
One final note: I noticed a tendency on the part of one person in our group (white) to dodge discussions that geared towards pointing out flaws in Black inner city culture. When we Black folks started talking, for instance, about how in many Black churches personal godliness is compromised while social justice is highlighted (the opposite of what was said to be true of white evangelical churches), the conversation was cut short w. a comment that all cultures have their pet sins (that's not the right word, maybe common manifestations of sin). This is true. But, this was one of maybe two or three times today where I think the person wanted to stay away from any criticism of the Black community. Again, I can understand why. When the tendency has been to blame the victim, which leads to no solutions, there is wisdom in shying away from any talk of personal responsibility. But, if personal responsibility is at all a part of the solution, and I believe it is, then neglecting this piece is actually detrimental to the Black community. Case in point: A Christian school w. a strong social justice bent consistently made excuses as to why parents could not do things like get their kids to school on time, or return schoolbooks in their kids' bookbags (both of which were paid for by the school), or make sure their kids came to school in their uniforms daily. And help w. homework (talking about for third graders) was out of the question. Why? Because the socio-economic situation was so terrible that these basics were thought to be impossible. Knowing the parents well, this was the case for about three families out of a school of a couple of hundred. The result? Kids' education suffered, even in a private and Christian setting (small class size, caring teachers, Christ-centered and safe culture), because parents were 'excused' from taking any responsibility. Yet some of those same parents, who later took their kids to a charter school down the street, miraculously displayed behavior needed to give their children a little more success educationally. My point? Balance is needed. No, personal accountability is not the SOLE answer to issues of race and class. Those problems are too complex for a single solution and too historically caused and instititutionally maintained to just urge people to change their own behaviors and 'things'll be alright'. Yet, structural causes are not the SOLE answer, either. So, if there are multiple causes, there must be multiple solutions, all of which are pursued w. the same level of vehemence and integrity and diligence. It is paternalistic to think Black folks can't do basic stuff just because they're poor. And you hurt the very poor folks you're trying to serve when you excuse their behavior that perpetuates their condition. Just my thoughts....
"The hood can be a beautiful thing/
But with no Christ in the city/It ain't pretty/
What the future will bring/
We need more than Malcolm X and Martin Luther the King/
We need Davids walking the pavement with Truth in their sling/
We see a chance to give people a reason for the hope of believers/
Cause though they're breathin' these hopeless people are grievin'/
In the streets some are numb but others are still bothered/
At the unfit mothers and the unskilled fathers/
That's why we plug Christ like an unskilled barber/
Rap artists who harvest, some plant and some will water/
But God'll make it grow and it won't stop/
If He's the center like the gum in a blow pop/
Remember you're eternal but your dough's not/
Your rims, your Timbs, your brims and your clothes rot"
-- Cross Movement, Higher Definition, "Hey, Y'all"
Another thought from today's session: I'm not comfortable being one of the (unoffiicially) designated 'spokespeople' for our race. Just when I've shared some 'insight' on inner city behavior, I start to think about the members of my race, even in the ghetto, who don't fit that stereotyped behavior, and I begin to fear I've given the impression that the Black race is a monolith and I've set up white folks unfairly for thinking they now 'understand' the why behind some things my people do. For instance, today we talked about how many Black mothers may appear not-so-nurturing because they push their children towards independence early on (i.e., encouraging them not to cry and having them take the lead in 'mature' situations like going to the doctors alone or dropping them off on a college campus alone and leaving them). On my way home, and later in the day, I thought about two caveats. One is that part of some Black mothers' insistence on their children taking on 'adult' responsibilities (like my doctor's office example) is a lack of comfort dealing w. mainstream culture. This is seen more clearly in Hispanic or Latino cultures when you have children paying bills and talking to school personnel and landlords and other authority figures -- things parents should be doing but cannot due to a language barrier. Well, the same is true in African-American poor 'hoods b.c. some adults are not comfortable engaging w. doctors and school officials, etc., so they put off that duty to children/youth (unfair, but a reality). Another thought around this issue is that there is an irony in some Black mothers' parenting of boys. Despite efforts early on to make sons 'tough' and make them into a 'man', many Black mothers paradoxically fail to hold their sons to the same standard of accountability that they hold their daughters to. For this reason, it is not uncommon to find in many homes daughters who manage to finish high school (and even go on to college), hold jobs, etc., while the sons in the same family lounge around, do nothing, make babies out of wedlock, and live off their mothers (who go to work everyday to support them). There's a saying that we Black mothers raise our daughters and spoil our sons. So this I think is another factor that plays into the problem of single-parenthood in our communities.
One final note: I noticed a tendency on the part of one person in our group (white) to dodge discussions that geared towards pointing out flaws in Black inner city culture. When we Black folks started talking, for instance, about how in many Black churches personal godliness is compromised while social justice is highlighted (the opposite of what was said to be true of white evangelical churches), the conversation was cut short w. a comment that all cultures have their pet sins (that's not the right word, maybe common manifestations of sin). This is true. But, this was one of maybe two or three times today where I think the person wanted to stay away from any criticism of the Black community. Again, I can understand why. When the tendency has been to blame the victim, which leads to no solutions, there is wisdom in shying away from any talk of personal responsibility. But, if personal responsibility is at all a part of the solution, and I believe it is, then neglecting this piece is actually detrimental to the Black community. Case in point: A Christian school w. a strong social justice bent consistently made excuses as to why parents could not do things like get their kids to school on time, or return schoolbooks in their kids' bookbags (both of which were paid for by the school), or make sure their kids came to school in their uniforms daily. And help w. homework (talking about for third graders) was out of the question. Why? Because the socio-economic situation was so terrible that these basics were thought to be impossible. Knowing the parents well, this was the case for about three families out of a school of a couple of hundred. The result? Kids' education suffered, even in a private and Christian setting (small class size, caring teachers, Christ-centered and safe culture), because parents were 'excused' from taking any responsibility. Yet some of those same parents, who later took their kids to a charter school down the street, miraculously displayed behavior needed to give their children a little more success educationally. My point? Balance is needed. No, personal accountability is not the SOLE answer to issues of race and class. Those problems are too complex for a single solution and too historically caused and instititutionally maintained to just urge people to change their own behaviors and 'things'll be alright'. Yet, structural causes are not the SOLE answer, either. So, if there are multiple causes, there must be multiple solutions, all of which are pursued w. the same level of vehemence and integrity and diligence. It is paternalistic to think Black folks can't do basic stuff just because they're poor. And you hurt the very poor folks you're trying to serve when you excuse their behavior that perpetuates their condition. Just my thoughts....
"The hood can be a beautiful thing/
But with no Christ in the city/It ain't pretty/
What the future will bring/
We need more than Malcolm X and Martin Luther the King/
We need Davids walking the pavement with Truth in their sling/
We see a chance to give people a reason for the hope of believers/
Cause though they're breathin' these hopeless people are grievin'/
In the streets some are numb but others are still bothered/
At the unfit mothers and the unskilled fathers/
That's why we plug Christ like an unskilled barber/
Rap artists who harvest, some plant and some will water/
But God'll make it grow and it won't stop/
If He's the center like the gum in a blow pop/
Remember you're eternal but your dough's not/
Your rims, your Timbs, your brims and your clothes rot"
-- Cross Movement, Higher Definition, "Hey, Y'all"
Saturday, September 16, 2006
Example of what I'm talking about
Below is a quote from Marcus Garvey that demonstrates how some black leaders of old had no problem stressing personal responsibility alongside critiquing the white racist power structure. (Note: This quote is not meant to be a support of Garvey's philosophy or tactics, especially his emphasis on segregation and his KKK connection. It's simply one example of how many respected Black leaders back in the day, of which he was one, had a strong self-reliant bent.)
From “Self-Reliance and Respect”:
“The Universal Negro Improvement Association teaches our race self-help and self-reliance, not only in one essential, but in all those things that contribute to human happiness and well-being. The disposition of the many to depend upon the other races for a kindly and sympathetic consideration of their needs, without making the effort to do for themselves, has been the race's standing disgrace by which we have been judged and through which we have created the strongest prejudice against ourselves...
The Negro must be up and doing if he will break down the prejudice of the rest of the world. Prayer alone is not going to improve our condition, nor the policy of watchful waiting. We must strike out for ourselves in the course of material achievement, and by our own effort and energy present to the world those forces by which the progress of man is judged.”
- The Right Excellent Marcus Mosiah Garvey -
From “Self-Reliance and Respect”:
“The Universal Negro Improvement Association teaches our race self-help and self-reliance, not only in one essential, but in all those things that contribute to human happiness and well-being. The disposition of the many to depend upon the other races for a kindly and sympathetic consideration of their needs, without making the effort to do for themselves, has been the race's standing disgrace by which we have been judged and through which we have created the strongest prejudice against ourselves...
The Negro must be up and doing if he will break down the prejudice of the rest of the world. Prayer alone is not going to improve our condition, nor the policy of watchful waiting. We must strike out for ourselves in the course of material achievement, and by our own effort and energy present to the world those forces by which the progress of man is judged.”
- The Right Excellent Marcus Mosiah Garvey -
BUILD First Impressions
Today was the first meeting of a group of Christians interested in social justice issues and committed to reading about and discussing them openly for the next two months. First impressions? Not bad. My main concern was that I'd be the only African-American in the group and, therefore, would be seen as the object of pity and/or as the authority on all things inner city. Pleased to find the group pretty diverse (I did the racial/ethnic & gender count -- wish it wasn't so instinctive!), and for a first meeting, I thought some folks were appropriately vulnerable. Interesting (though not shocking) that some African-Americans in the group honestly voiced frustrations with members of our race in the neighborhood who display stereotypical behaviors... One guy knows quite a few folks I know -- the Wests, the Bergs -- which is kewl. Good people. Main take-away from today's time: Michael's comments. Specifically, his admonition that the next two months will be worthless if we don't put into practice whatever it is we learn. Kinda jolting. Sobering. His words really resonated with me because they are true, yet they scared me a bit because truth revealed must be followed out by truth applied and, as Tae said, I don't know what that looks like or even if I want to. Though the inner city has been my life from birth almost, that does not necessarily translate into my doing all I can to share in God's love for folks in the city and that love translating into action....
First impressions of the reading? Well, I'm about halfway thru Hilfiker's article on poverty in urban America, but I'm struck by how much of it I didn't know (I knew a good deal of it, but not some major points). Wasn't familiar with the origin of public housing; just assumed projects were started by some altruistic motive. Was aware that domestic workers didn't qualify for social security or unemployment compensation. My grandmother was a day worker for Jewish folks her whole life and, though she worked hard, never had social security, a pension, etc. But I wasn't aware that the federal programs during the depression specifically excluded these folks, which translated into lack of relief during a very rough time in America that other groups were afforded.
Since my time in seminary, my views on the causes of poverty and the inner city problems have slowly changed from almost totally blaming the victim (the whole family breakdown / single-parent homes thing) to seeing both personal and structural/institutional causes. Lupton's article further reinforced my moderate position. Yet, I still grapple with how to move people out of poverty if too much emphasis is placed on external causes. My fear is that while work is done to alleviate the effects of external conditions, folks in poverty will perpetuate their condition if a heavy dose of personal responsibility is not given as well. My mind goes back to Black leaders even who were clear about structural causes for poverty and other problems and who spoke out against them vehemently, yet who were just as passionate when they stressed personal responsibility to folks in their own community. Yet today, any Black person who brings up personal responsibility is seen as a sell out (like Bill Cosby). Folks would do well to read some speeches and writings of our leaders of the past who said the same things. I'm interested in what next week's discussion will be like and whether or not people will be honest and risk airing differences of viewpoints. Actually, I think it would be a good idea to set up some group norms before more controversial discussions begin.
One final thing: We're supposed to note anything of interest regarding race and class. Well, I have two things. One is the fact that this season on "Survivor", the tribes will be divided by race as they compete against each other. I'm curious as to what people think about that. Second, in the laundromat today washing clothes, I did the usual: read the newspapers. In the Wednesday Journal (a local newspaper for Oak Park and other west suburbs), there was a commentary on the achievement gap at Oak Park-River Forest High School. The writer acknowledged multiple causes of the fact that Blacks consistently underperform whites and others, even in an affluent and diverse community like O.P. However, the writer was concerned about the persistent refusal of O.P.-R.F. H.S. staff to even consider the possibility of teacher and faculty bias (intentional or not) as one of the many causes of this gap. Again, I'd like to know folks' thoughts on this matter.
Well, that's all for now. I'm tired.
First impressions of the reading? Well, I'm about halfway thru Hilfiker's article on poverty in urban America, but I'm struck by how much of it I didn't know (I knew a good deal of it, but not some major points). Wasn't familiar with the origin of public housing; just assumed projects were started by some altruistic motive. Was aware that domestic workers didn't qualify for social security or unemployment compensation. My grandmother was a day worker for Jewish folks her whole life and, though she worked hard, never had social security, a pension, etc. But I wasn't aware that the federal programs during the depression specifically excluded these folks, which translated into lack of relief during a very rough time in America that other groups were afforded.
Since my time in seminary, my views on the causes of poverty and the inner city problems have slowly changed from almost totally blaming the victim (the whole family breakdown / single-parent homes thing) to seeing both personal and structural/institutional causes. Lupton's article further reinforced my moderate position. Yet, I still grapple with how to move people out of poverty if too much emphasis is placed on external causes. My fear is that while work is done to alleviate the effects of external conditions, folks in poverty will perpetuate their condition if a heavy dose of personal responsibility is not given as well. My mind goes back to Black leaders even who were clear about structural causes for poverty and other problems and who spoke out against them vehemently, yet who were just as passionate when they stressed personal responsibility to folks in their own community. Yet today, any Black person who brings up personal responsibility is seen as a sell out (like Bill Cosby). Folks would do well to read some speeches and writings of our leaders of the past who said the same things. I'm interested in what next week's discussion will be like and whether or not people will be honest and risk airing differences of viewpoints. Actually, I think it would be a good idea to set up some group norms before more controversial discussions begin.
One final thing: We're supposed to note anything of interest regarding race and class. Well, I have two things. One is the fact that this season on "Survivor", the tribes will be divided by race as they compete against each other. I'm curious as to what people think about that. Second, in the laundromat today washing clothes, I did the usual: read the newspapers. In the Wednesday Journal (a local newspaper for Oak Park and other west suburbs), there was a commentary on the achievement gap at Oak Park-River Forest High School. The writer acknowledged multiple causes of the fact that Blacks consistently underperform whites and others, even in an affluent and diverse community like O.P. However, the writer was concerned about the persistent refusal of O.P.-R.F. H.S. staff to even consider the possibility of teacher and faculty bias (intentional or not) as one of the many causes of this gap. Again, I'd like to know folks' thoughts on this matter.
Well, that's all for now. I'm tired.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Valaida Snow
I get mixed emotions whenever I learn something new that I feel should've been taught to me as a youngster. I'm excited about the new knowledge, curiosity piqued and then satisfied as part of the previously unknown is unveiled. But I'm also frustrated by the fact that, esp. when it comes to African-American history, all too often the story of our people has been grossly ignored and neglected. Here's someone very interesting that I learned about last year. This woman often returns to my thoughts -- find myself wondering what her life was like, what motivated her and inspired her and irritated her. Think she should be included in the annals of American music history. Here goes (taken from various sources on the Internet):
"'Queen of the Trumpet', Valaida Snow was born on June 2nd in 1905. She was an African-American musician and entertainer. From Cleveland City, Tennessee she was raised in an intensely musical family. Snow was taught by her mother Etta Washington Snow to play cello, bass, violin, banjo, mandolin, harp, accordion, clarinet, saxophone and trumpet. She also sang and danced. By the time she was 15 years old she was entertaining professionally and had decided to concentrate on trumpet and vocals. She had two sisters and three brothers. Both her sisters and one brother were also professional singers. A third brother and a half-brother never sang professionally or played an instrument of any kind.
Feisty, flamboyant and beautiful, Snow managed her own career, played half a dozen instruments, and spoke several languages. Snow was also gifted with an uncannily perfect pitch. The story is told of how she told pianist Eubie Blake that his regular tuning fork was flat simply after hearing him strike while they were together on a train. When they got to the next stop, Blake rushed her to the nearest music shop where the music dealer confirmed Snow's assessment.
Her truth-is-stranger-than-fiction story takes us from her Vaudeville youth in the Jim Crow South to stardom in black musical theatre. By the 1930s, she was an international headliner, and like her more well-known contemporary Josephine Baker, had caused a sensation in Europe.
A review of one of her engagements in the London Express of 1934 proclaimed: "She has a big personality, wails your tear ducts dry, blows a mean trumpet, and conducts as Toscannini never could." Along with Baker, she was a daring pioneer in an expatriation movement of Black entertainers that made both international stars and helped to eventually turn the tide of acceptance back in the US. In the Netherlands, Queen Wilhelmina was so impressed with Snow's talent and flair that she presented the American with a gilded trumpet.
In 1924 Snow attracted attention in the Sissle and Blake show. Then she was in London with Blackbirds, recording with Johnny Claes, Derek Neville, Freddy Gardner and others. She also worked in China and after her return to the USA she headlined in Chicago and Los Angeles before rejoining the Blackbirds in Paris. Snow also played across Europe and in Russia.
In the early 30s she was performing in the Ethel Waters show, Rhapsody In Black, in New York. In the mid-30s she returned to London and then to Hollywood, where she made films with her husband Ananais Berry of the Berry Brothers dancing troupe. After playing New York's Apollo Theater she revisited Europe and the Far East for more shows and films.
Flamboyant, Snow dressed in elegant gowns, traveled in an orchid-colored Mercedes limousine, and outfitted her chauffer and pet monkey in orchid-colored clothes. She became the toast of Paris and London, and was courted by French superstar Maurice Chevalier and American bandleader Earl Hines . She was a savvy businesswoman and spoke seven languages. While her beauty attracted audiences, it was Snow's incredible talent as a jazz trumpeter which truly captivated them. She obtained the nickname "Little Louis" due to her Louis Armstrong-like playing style.
In 1939 while in Scandinavia, Snow was arrested by the invading Germans and interned in a concentration camp at Wester-Faengle. After 18 months she was released as an exchange prisoner and returned to New York. After her return from prison, Snow married Earle Edwards. Damaged both physically and psychologically, she began performing again. Sadly, the spark and vitality that had made her one of the outstanding American entertainers of the 30s had begun to dim.
In her prime, Snow had perfect pitch and was also a skilled transcriber and arranger. Snow played and sang the blues with deep feeling and could more than hold her own on up-tempo swingers. As a phenomenal musician, because she was a woman in the jazz world of the 30s and 40s, she was regarded as something of a curiosity. Valaida Snow died May 30, 1956 in New York City. Strangely enough, she was buried three days later, on her birthday, June 2.
Even today, many jazz fans have difficulty accepting women as anything other than vocalists despite an increasing number of excellent female soloists now recording and performing.
Valaida Snow, almost universally unknown or forgotten today, forged a multiple-threat career - trumpeter and singer, bandleader, dancer, choreographer and arranger. With three strikes against her (she was Black; she was a woman and she was a bandleader), Valaida Snow still managed to hit home runs and she did it by most accounts, with a sly smile. The great American pianist Earl "Fatha" Hines (who also romanced Snow) said of her "She was just a beautiful and exceptionally talented woman.""
"'Queen of the Trumpet', Valaida Snow was born on June 2nd in 1905. She was an African-American musician and entertainer. From Cleveland City, Tennessee she was raised in an intensely musical family. Snow was taught by her mother Etta Washington Snow to play cello, bass, violin, banjo, mandolin, harp, accordion, clarinet, saxophone and trumpet. She also sang and danced. By the time she was 15 years old she was entertaining professionally and had decided to concentrate on trumpet and vocals. She had two sisters and three brothers. Both her sisters and one brother were also professional singers. A third brother and a half-brother never sang professionally or played an instrument of any kind.
Feisty, flamboyant and beautiful, Snow managed her own career, played half a dozen instruments, and spoke several languages. Snow was also gifted with an uncannily perfect pitch. The story is told of how she told pianist Eubie Blake that his regular tuning fork was flat simply after hearing him strike while they were together on a train. When they got to the next stop, Blake rushed her to the nearest music shop where the music dealer confirmed Snow's assessment.
Her truth-is-stranger-than-fiction story takes us from her Vaudeville youth in the Jim Crow South to stardom in black musical theatre. By the 1930s, she was an international headliner, and like her more well-known contemporary Josephine Baker, had caused a sensation in Europe.
A review of one of her engagements in the London Express of 1934 proclaimed: "She has a big personality, wails your tear ducts dry, blows a mean trumpet, and conducts as Toscannini never could." Along with Baker, she was a daring pioneer in an expatriation movement of Black entertainers that made both international stars and helped to eventually turn the tide of acceptance back in the US. In the Netherlands, Queen Wilhelmina was so impressed with Snow's talent and flair that she presented the American with a gilded trumpet.
In 1924 Snow attracted attention in the Sissle and Blake show. Then she was in London with Blackbirds, recording with Johnny Claes, Derek Neville, Freddy Gardner and others. She also worked in China and after her return to the USA she headlined in Chicago and Los Angeles before rejoining the Blackbirds in Paris. Snow also played across Europe and in Russia.
In the early 30s she was performing in the Ethel Waters show, Rhapsody In Black, in New York. In the mid-30s she returned to London and then to Hollywood, where she made films with her husband Ananais Berry of the Berry Brothers dancing troupe. After playing New York's Apollo Theater she revisited Europe and the Far East for more shows and films.
Flamboyant, Snow dressed in elegant gowns, traveled in an orchid-colored Mercedes limousine, and outfitted her chauffer and pet monkey in orchid-colored clothes. She became the toast of Paris and London, and was courted by French superstar Maurice Chevalier and American bandleader Earl Hines . She was a savvy businesswoman and spoke seven languages. While her beauty attracted audiences, it was Snow's incredible talent as a jazz trumpeter which truly captivated them. She obtained the nickname "Little Louis" due to her Louis Armstrong-like playing style.
In 1939 while in Scandinavia, Snow was arrested by the invading Germans and interned in a concentration camp at Wester-Faengle. After 18 months she was released as an exchange prisoner and returned to New York. After her return from prison, Snow married Earle Edwards. Damaged both physically and psychologically, she began performing again. Sadly, the spark and vitality that had made her one of the outstanding American entertainers of the 30s had begun to dim.
In her prime, Snow had perfect pitch and was also a skilled transcriber and arranger. Snow played and sang the blues with deep feeling and could more than hold her own on up-tempo swingers. As a phenomenal musician, because she was a woman in the jazz world of the 30s and 40s, she was regarded as something of a curiosity. Valaida Snow died May 30, 1956 in New York City. Strangely enough, she was buried three days later, on her birthday, June 2.
Even today, many jazz fans have difficulty accepting women as anything other than vocalists despite an increasing number of excellent female soloists now recording and performing.
Valaida Snow, almost universally unknown or forgotten today, forged a multiple-threat career - trumpeter and singer, bandleader, dancer, choreographer and arranger. With three strikes against her (she was Black; she was a woman and she was a bandleader), Valaida Snow still managed to hit home runs and she did it by most accounts, with a sly smile. The great American pianist Earl "Fatha" Hines (who also romanced Snow) said of her "She was just a beautiful and exceptionally talented woman.""
Ginny Owens
Looking for some quality Christian music to satisfy your listening pleasure? Then check out contemporary Christian artist Ginny Owens. Tho' she has about 6 albums out, my favorite is Without Condition. Whether singing her own rendition of the traditional hymn "Be Thou My Vision" or belting out the lyrics to a gritty "Symbol of a Lost Cause", you're sure to love every track on this record. I'm known for having 'remote control' tendencies when it comes to listening to music; never listen to an entire CD -- skip around so much sometimes I don't even finish one song. But this record is different. Here's what one reviewer said:
"Ginny Owens is a rare find in the Christian Music industry. Blinded since a very young age, Owens could have taken a bitter view of God*, yet she didn't, and am I thankful for that. Owens is one of those artists who can dig deep into my soul and say exactly what I am thinking without having ever met her. Taking on the piano as her major tool for writing, Owens sings with such simplicity and ease, like she knows what she's talking about. The CD starts off with an accapella version of "Be Thou My Vision", which is beautiful yet haunting at the same time. The next track on the CD..."I Wanna Be Moved" is one of those songs I was talking about earlier, one that says exactly what I am thinking at the right time. The song is an edgy rock-influenced song speaking of how Owens doesn't "want to be a flame", but rather she wants to be a "raging fire". This is just a small taste of what is to come. While Ginny does a great job on the edgy stuff, she really shows her songwriting muscles on her ballads. Songs like "I Am Nothing", "Someone Searching" and "If You Want Me To" truly show her desire to live a life that is holy and blameless before Christ... "Own Me"...[is a] beautiful, subtle song about how she prays God will take complete control of her life, mold her, break her, and heal her. I highly recommend this album..."
My sentiments exactly.
*Ginny went to college to become a music teacher, only to be frustrated by potential employers who saw only her blindness rather than her gifts. While playing the piano alone, someone walked in unbeknownedst to her, heard her, was blown away, and offered her a record deal. Ginny then shifted her aspirations, and I'm so glad she did.
"Ginny Owens is a rare find in the Christian Music industry. Blinded since a very young age, Owens could have taken a bitter view of God*, yet she didn't, and am I thankful for that. Owens is one of those artists who can dig deep into my soul and say exactly what I am thinking without having ever met her. Taking on the piano as her major tool for writing, Owens sings with such simplicity and ease, like she knows what she's talking about. The CD starts off with an accapella version of "Be Thou My Vision", which is beautiful yet haunting at the same time. The next track on the CD..."I Wanna Be Moved" is one of those songs I was talking about earlier, one that says exactly what I am thinking at the right time. The song is an edgy rock-influenced song speaking of how Owens doesn't "want to be a flame", but rather she wants to be a "raging fire". This is just a small taste of what is to come. While Ginny does a great job on the edgy stuff, she really shows her songwriting muscles on her ballads. Songs like "I Am Nothing", "Someone Searching" and "If You Want Me To" truly show her desire to live a life that is holy and blameless before Christ... "Own Me"...[is a] beautiful, subtle song about how she prays God will take complete control of her life, mold her, break her, and heal her. I highly recommend this album..."
My sentiments exactly.
*Ginny went to college to become a music teacher, only to be frustrated by potential employers who saw only her blindness rather than her gifts. While playing the piano alone, someone walked in unbeknownedst to her, heard her, was blown away, and offered her a record deal. Ginny then shifted her aspirations, and I'm so glad she did.
More Recommended Reading
Eh, folks, here's what I'm reading right now -- both of which are awesome:
1) John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life. For those not familiar w. Piper, he writes a lot about living to glorify God and loving it. True to his M.O., Piper builds a case for gaining joy or getting pleasure out of living to bring God glory. He raves about 'being glad' in God and 'making others glad' in God. Refreshing! Takes the ritual and the staleness out of our walk with the Lord. Like a shot in the arm to examine where our heart is concerning Christ -- to see if He is indeed the Lover of our soul. And the not wasting your life part is woven into this recurring theme of Piper's with his poignant pleas for us to spend our lives doing what matters and what has eternal significance, so that we'll have no regrets.
2) Dallas Willard's The Great Omission: Reclaiming Jesus's Essential Teachings on Discipleship. Wonderful book simply about following Jesus -- about being a disciple of Christ. Challenges the notion that separates 'accepting Christ' from 'following Christ'. Paints excellent picture of how it looks to imitate Christ.
1) John Piper's Don't Waste Your Life. For those not familiar w. Piper, he writes a lot about living to glorify God and loving it. True to his M.O., Piper builds a case for gaining joy or getting pleasure out of living to bring God glory. He raves about 'being glad' in God and 'making others glad' in God. Refreshing! Takes the ritual and the staleness out of our walk with the Lord. Like a shot in the arm to examine where our heart is concerning Christ -- to see if He is indeed the Lover of our soul. And the not wasting your life part is woven into this recurring theme of Piper's with his poignant pleas for us to spend our lives doing what matters and what has eternal significance, so that we'll have no regrets.
2) Dallas Willard's The Great Omission: Reclaiming Jesus's Essential Teachings on Discipleship. Wonderful book simply about following Jesus -- about being a disciple of Christ. Challenges the notion that separates 'accepting Christ' from 'following Christ'. Paints excellent picture of how it looks to imitate Christ.
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Poem
I'm not much of a poet -- only written a handful of halfway decent poems in my life, and this is one. Wanna hear it? Here it go........
PROVERBS 32
The next one
Will be the best one
Nothing like the ones before
Sold out
Able to hold out
Not just looking for a cheap ‘score’
Not simply knowing
But also growing
True in his thoughts, words, and his deeds
Faithful in keeping
All that he’s speaking
Meek enough to follow
Strong enough to lead
Inspiring reverence
Just by his presence
Known for his heart, more than head or hand
Balanced in his living
Caring and forgiving
A truly godly kind of man
Not drenched with pride
Secure on the inside
But also solid in his outer affairs
Yet not chasing the ‘dream’
Focusing on what’s unseen
Not choked by fleeting, worldly cares
Forever serving
Never swerving
In his goal to reach the lost
Lavish risk-taking
In his disciple-making
Pouring out his soul, no matter the cost
Yet always working
To keep from hurting
The fragile ties to family
Showing his love
Placing home far above
Even the noblest ministry
At peace in his skin
With who he is, where he’s been
Learning from – not living in – times past
Fully embracing
Not afraid of facing
Today and tomorrow with strength to last
Yep, the next one
Will be the best one
Nothing like the ones before
Loving me sweetly
Loving me deeply
But loving his God
So very much more.
PROVERBS 32
The next one
Will be the best one
Nothing like the ones before
Sold out
Able to hold out
Not just looking for a cheap ‘score’
Not simply knowing
But also growing
True in his thoughts, words, and his deeds
Faithful in keeping
All that he’s speaking
Meek enough to follow
Strong enough to lead
Inspiring reverence
Just by his presence
Known for his heart, more than head or hand
Balanced in his living
Caring and forgiving
A truly godly kind of man
Not drenched with pride
Secure on the inside
But also solid in his outer affairs
Yet not chasing the ‘dream’
Focusing on what’s unseen
Not choked by fleeting, worldly cares
Forever serving
Never swerving
In his goal to reach the lost
Lavish risk-taking
In his disciple-making
Pouring out his soul, no matter the cost
Yet always working
To keep from hurting
The fragile ties to family
Showing his love
Placing home far above
Even the noblest ministry
At peace in his skin
With who he is, where he’s been
Learning from – not living in – times past
Fully embracing
Not afraid of facing
Today and tomorrow with strength to last
Yep, the next one
Will be the best one
Nothing like the ones before
Loving me sweetly
Loving me deeply
But loving his God
So very much more.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
The Making of a Man (or Woman)
A wise man in the faith once told me, "God is interested in making men -- not ministries." Now I'm sure Elder Taurel borrowed that saying from someone else, but God certainly used him to speak it into my spirit that day. And the meaning of those words has never left me. Rather than concern ourselves with God making a name for us -- with using God for our own glory, for our own agenda -- it's better to concern ourselves with God making US -- with His molding us and shaping us into His Son's likeness. After all, that's what Romans 8 says God's all about. That famous "all things works together for good" passage has less to do with God guaranteeing us a happy ending (on our terms) and more with God guaranteeing us His ending, which seems to be forming a people who reflect His nature and character to the world, so that then the world can be drawn to Him and more folks can join in worship of Him. And to accomplish this purpose, God will leave no stone unturned (in the words of another wise man in the faith, Pastor Reeves).
When I search the Scriptures to find someone who was formed by the Master's hand, molded into a man displaying God's character, my man Moses comes to mind. From Moses' birth it was obvious that God's hand was on the brother, protecting him from the vicious decrees of a fearful Pharoah and securing his physical and spiritual safety by paradoxically arranging for his earthly upbringing in Pharoah's house and for his moral training by his nurse who happened to be his mother.
The first picture we get of Moses himself shows a man in whom resided a strong sense of compassion and justice. Moses, who obviously has been told he is a Hebrew, sets out to learn of the condition of his people. Acts 7 says at age 40 "it entered his mind to visit his brothers, the sons of Israel" (nothing but God's Sovereignty at work). Incensed at an Egyptian overseer who is beating a fellow Hebrew, Moses intervenes, almost like he can't help himself. (Acts 7:24 says, "And when he saw one of them being treated unjustly, he defended him and took vengeance for the oppressed by striking down the Egyptian.") He ends up killing the Egyptian and burying him in the sand, in order to help rescue his fellow Hebrew. The next day, this same streak of fairness and compassion comes oozing out of Moses again, this time spreading to his own people in the form of a rebuke (sign of a God-implanted trait -- it doesn't discriminate). Moses spies two Hebrews fighting and makes an effort to solve the problem (Acts 7:26 says he "tried to reconcile them in peace"), only to get his first taste in Disappointment 101: his own people reject his efforts to help, and even cast a stinging false accusation about his motives (trying to be prince and judge over us), rather than admit their own fault and reconcile with one another. One of these Hebrews even lets Moses know he's aware of the murder Moses committed the day before, a comment that, along with the disillusionment of trying to help and seemingly not making a difference, sends this man reeling into the desert far away from the powers that be who wanted to retaliate and away from the realization that his efforts to rescue were spurned by the very ones he wanted to help. (Acts 7:25 says, "And he supposed that his brothers understood that God was granting them deliverance through him, but they did not understand.")
But Moses cannot escape the ingrained tendency to rescue -- even while away from Egypt, we see him rescuing Jethro's daughters from men who bothered them when they were at the well. In fact, that's what these sisters tell their daddy -- that 'an Egyptian' helped (literally, delivered) them that day. Again, Moses' sense of compassion and justice could not bear the thought of defenseless women being bothered. ("Then the shepherds came and drove them [the sisters] away, but Moses stood up and helped them and watered their flock." -- Exodus 2:17)
Reading about Moses' sense of inadequacy, so much so that God seemingly gets frustrated trying to convince Moses to take the job of leading Israel, is a testament to the power of God to 'make a man'. And so is seeing how God developed Moses, from the firebrand murderer in
Egypt to the shepherd on the backside of the mountain (plus being an alien and a father), even to being a long-suffering leader of millions of Hebrews. Far from Moses being the star of this narrrative, though, God is the Hero. He shines through as the True Deliverer (He tells Moses HE'S going down to deliver Israel, in the same conversation where He commissions Moses to go, so it's clear who's in control), as the One who is moved by the cries of His oppressed people, as the powerful One who decimates one of the greatest civilizations of all time in order that they may know that He is God. Even though Acts 7:35 tells us that "this Moses whom they disowned, saying, 'Who made you a ruler and a judge?' is the one whom God sent to be both a ruler and a deliverer...", we are also told that Moses did this "with the help of the angel who appeared to him in the thorn bush" (same verse), and we hear God's words to Moses about Himself saying, "I have certainly seen the oppression of My people in Egypt and have heard their groans, and I have come down to rescue them; come now, and I will send you to Egypt." The beauty of all this is that the spirit of a deliverer or rescuer that resided in Moses actually came from God -- Moses could have such compassion on folks and have such a strong desire for fair treatment of all because that's what His heavenly Father had. And, His heavenly Father enabled Him to act on that spirit and bless others.
When I search the Scriptures to find someone who was formed by the Master's hand, molded into a man displaying God's character, my man Moses comes to mind. From Moses' birth it was obvious that God's hand was on the brother, protecting him from the vicious decrees of a fearful Pharoah and securing his physical and spiritual safety by paradoxically arranging for his earthly upbringing in Pharoah's house and for his moral training by his nurse who happened to be his mother.
The first picture we get of Moses himself shows a man in whom resided a strong sense of compassion and justice. Moses, who obviously has been told he is a Hebrew, sets out to learn of the condition of his people. Acts 7 says at age 40 "it entered his mind to visit his brothers, the sons of Israel" (nothing but God's Sovereignty at work). Incensed at an Egyptian overseer who is beating a fellow Hebrew, Moses intervenes, almost like he can't help himself. (Acts 7:24 says, "And when he saw one of them being treated unjustly, he defended him and took vengeance for the oppressed by striking down the Egyptian.") He ends up killing the Egyptian and burying him in the sand, in order to help rescue his fellow Hebrew. The next day, this same streak of fairness and compassion comes oozing out of Moses again, this time spreading to his own people in the form of a rebuke (sign of a God-implanted trait -- it doesn't discriminate). Moses spies two Hebrews fighting and makes an effort to solve the problem (Acts 7:26 says he "tried to reconcile them in peace"), only to get his first taste in Disappointment 101: his own people reject his efforts to help, and even cast a stinging false accusation about his motives (trying to be prince and judge over us), rather than admit their own fault and reconcile with one another. One of these Hebrews even lets Moses know he's aware of the murder Moses committed the day before, a comment that, along with the disillusionment of trying to help and seemingly not making a difference, sends this man reeling into the desert far away from the powers that be who wanted to retaliate and away from the realization that his efforts to rescue were spurned by the very ones he wanted to help. (Acts 7:25 says, "And he supposed that his brothers understood that God was granting them deliverance through him, but they did not understand.")
But Moses cannot escape the ingrained tendency to rescue -- even while away from Egypt, we see him rescuing Jethro's daughters from men who bothered them when they were at the well. In fact, that's what these sisters tell their daddy -- that 'an Egyptian' helped (literally, delivered) them that day. Again, Moses' sense of compassion and justice could not bear the thought of defenseless women being bothered. ("Then the shepherds came and drove them [the sisters] away, but Moses stood up and helped them and watered their flock." -- Exodus 2:17)
Reading about Moses' sense of inadequacy, so much so that God seemingly gets frustrated trying to convince Moses to take the job of leading Israel, is a testament to the power of God to 'make a man'. And so is seeing how God developed Moses, from the firebrand murderer in
Egypt to the shepherd on the backside of the mountain (plus being an alien and a father), even to being a long-suffering leader of millions of Hebrews. Far from Moses being the star of this narrrative, though, God is the Hero. He shines through as the True Deliverer (He tells Moses HE'S going down to deliver Israel, in the same conversation where He commissions Moses to go, so it's clear who's in control), as the One who is moved by the cries of His oppressed people, as the powerful One who decimates one of the greatest civilizations of all time in order that they may know that He is God. Even though Acts 7:35 tells us that "this Moses whom they disowned, saying, 'Who made you a ruler and a judge?' is the one whom God sent to be both a ruler and a deliverer...", we are also told that Moses did this "with the help of the angel who appeared to him in the thorn bush" (same verse), and we hear God's words to Moses about Himself saying, "I have certainly seen the oppression of My people in Egypt and have heard their groans, and I have come down to rescue them; come now, and I will send you to Egypt." The beauty of all this is that the spirit of a deliverer or rescuer that resided in Moses actually came from God -- Moses could have such compassion on folks and have such a strong desire for fair treatment of all because that's what His heavenly Father had. And, His heavenly Father enabled Him to act on that spirit and bless others.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Another Claude McKay Creation
Here is another tight sonnet by this thorough Harlem Renaissance brothuh:
The White House
Your door is shut against my tightened face,
And I am sharp as steel with discontent;
But I possess the courage and the grace
To bear my anger proudly and unbent.
The pavement slabs burn loose beneath my feet,
A chafing savage, down the decent street;
And passion rends my vitals as I pass,
Where boldly shines your shuttered door of glass.
Oh, I must search for wisdom every hour,
Deep in my wrathful bosom sore and raw,
And find in it the superhuman power
To hold me to the letter of your law!
Oh, I must keep my heart inviolate
Against the potent poison of your hate.
The White House
Your door is shut against my tightened face,
And I am sharp as steel with discontent;
But I possess the courage and the grace
To bear my anger proudly and unbent.
The pavement slabs burn loose beneath my feet,
A chafing savage, down the decent street;
And passion rends my vitals as I pass,
Where boldly shines your shuttered door of glass.
Oh, I must search for wisdom every hour,
Deep in my wrathful bosom sore and raw,
And find in it the superhuman power
To hold me to the letter of your law!
Oh, I must keep my heart inviolate
Against the potent poison of your hate.
My Luv, Tha Verse
Okay, so I'm in love w. words. Just the way I'm wired, I guess. But words on a page speak to me and enthrall me. Maybe that's why I'm such a hip hop head. Words seem to jump from the page into my head and fill it w. fanciful images. I'm such a 'linguistic learner' that I can hardly imagine what it's like for those who don't share this learning mode. I guess there are those as excited about numbers and patterns as I am about language.
Proof of my love: Tho' poetry's far from my favorite genre, these dudes speak to me: Paul Laurence Dunbar (he's one of the people I'd like to meet one day, but it'll have to be in eternity now), Claude McKay, and then there are poets of our time like Billy Joel, Barry Manilow, Elton John, and just about any balladeer (whether it's Ghostface Killa dedicating a song to his moms or it's No Doubt or Linkin' Park screamin' out a ballad, I actually feel the words). Well, 'nuf said.
Time to close w. one of my favorites, this tight Shakespearean / Elizabethan sonnet by Jamaican - American poet Claude McKay:
The Harlem Dancer
Applauding youths laughed with young prostitutes
And watched her perfect, half-clothed body sway;
Her voice was like the sound of blended flutes
Blown by black players upon a picnic day.
She sang and danced on gracefully and calm,
The light gauze hanging loose about her form;
To me she seemed a proudly-swaying palm
Grown lovelier for passing through a storm.
Upon her swarthy neck black shiny curls
Luxuriant fell; and tossing coins in praise,
The wine-flushed, bold-eyed boys, and even the girls,
Devoured her shape with eager, passionate gaze;
But looking at her falsely-smiling face,
I knew her self was not in that strange place.
I'm out!
Proof of my love: Tho' poetry's far from my favorite genre, these dudes speak to me: Paul Laurence Dunbar (he's one of the people I'd like to meet one day, but it'll have to be in eternity now), Claude McKay, and then there are poets of our time like Billy Joel, Barry Manilow, Elton John, and just about any balladeer (whether it's Ghostface Killa dedicating a song to his moms or it's No Doubt or Linkin' Park screamin' out a ballad, I actually feel the words). Well, 'nuf said.
Time to close w. one of my favorites, this tight Shakespearean / Elizabethan sonnet by Jamaican - American poet Claude McKay:
The Harlem Dancer
Applauding youths laughed with young prostitutes
And watched her perfect, half-clothed body sway;
Her voice was like the sound of blended flutes
Blown by black players upon a picnic day.
She sang and danced on gracefully and calm,
The light gauze hanging loose about her form;
To me she seemed a proudly-swaying palm
Grown lovelier for passing through a storm.
Upon her swarthy neck black shiny curls
Luxuriant fell; and tossing coins in praise,
The wine-flushed, bold-eyed boys, and even the girls,
Devoured her shape with eager, passionate gaze;
But looking at her falsely-smiling face,
I knew her self was not in that strange place.
I'm out!
Friday, April 21, 2006
Two More Good Books
Eh, here are the latest good books I'm reading:
1) Jim Collins' Good To Great. This book was recommended to me by so many people in the past and finally I'm getting to it. Well, it's definitely worth the wait! This Collins dude led a team of over twenty heads who researched businesses for five years. Their goal was to find traits that took companies from 'good to great'. Very surprising results for them, but not for me. The celebrity, cult-like business leader w. the savior complex who comes from the outside and rescues the company? NOT! Big myth, in terms of companies that have sustained productivity. Instead, these good to great companies are led by shy, self-effacing, almost nerdy yet focused and diligent folks who have a combo of personal humility and professional will. Tho' they are 'more workhorse than showhorse' (love that dang quote!), they fiercely, courageously make tough decisions and sacrifice their fame for the company's success and longevity. This is just a taste of the findings!
2) Stephen Ambrose's Eisenhower: Soldier and President. Good, readable, tho' long as heck look at our 34th Prez -- brief details of his upbringing and then tons of stuff on his leadership. Good read for non-history buffs like myself -- interesting enough to hold your attention and give you insight on this man and the situations he governed in this country and in the world.
1) Jim Collins' Good To Great. This book was recommended to me by so many people in the past and finally I'm getting to it. Well, it's definitely worth the wait! This Collins dude led a team of over twenty heads who researched businesses for five years. Their goal was to find traits that took companies from 'good to great'. Very surprising results for them, but not for me. The celebrity, cult-like business leader w. the savior complex who comes from the outside and rescues the company? NOT! Big myth, in terms of companies that have sustained productivity. Instead, these good to great companies are led by shy, self-effacing, almost nerdy yet focused and diligent folks who have a combo of personal humility and professional will. Tho' they are 'more workhorse than showhorse' (love that dang quote!), they fiercely, courageously make tough decisions and sacrifice their fame for the company's success and longevity. This is just a taste of the findings!
2) Stephen Ambrose's Eisenhower: Soldier and President. Good, readable, tho' long as heck look at our 34th Prez -- brief details of his upbringing and then tons of stuff on his leadership. Good read for non-history buffs like myself -- interesting enough to hold your attention and give you insight on this man and the situations he governed in this country and in the world.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
What Do You See? by the Ambassador (Cross Movement's Human Emergency album)
Hear the CLINK! of the nails as they pierce His hands / And the…lash as they slash this man /
Crash this man, hit and harass this man / Bash, stick and inflict mad gashes and /
Mentally put yourself at the place and time / Use faith as a way to trace the crime /
Let your mind take you back laps and laps / Back track till your mind sees back to back /
All the things that happ'd / To the silent Lamb /
All in chains, trapped like a violent man / Like He forwarded a violent plan /
But it was prophecy / That said God would be /
Treated like unwanted property / You’ve got to see /
The ill way that they flogged Him / Blood leaked, it was deep how they mobbed Him /
Think thorns worn as a crown / Here the Jews say, “Crucify Him pass it down” /
Hear the squeals as the steel comes crashin’ down / Can’t get past the sound /
Teeth are gnashing now / Veins snap, feel that, hot flashin’ now /
Draped in blood, covered in a cap and gown /
So many cracks from the straps / It numbs the back /
Crucifixion makes your lungs collapse /
Watch His chest---see Him gasp for breath / Hear Him…and…till there’s no gasp left /
Chorus: What do you see when you close your eyes /What will you see when your life goes by /
Think hard / Visualize the ill mob / Either you’ll feel God/ Or your heart's real hard /
Concentrate, your mind should stay in study mode / Tell your buddies, “roll” /
As you contemplate the bloody robe /
Which was worn by the One beaten and torn / Killed by the same dust people He formed /
He emptied Himself---paused the wealth / Put independent use of His attributes on the shelf /
Loving men who weren’t loving Him / Loving sin /
Loving gin / Lovin’ a night at the club again /
I’m rubbin' men wrong but souls will die / If my rhyme doesn’t come in and blow your high /
I’m right in the sight of Jehovah’s eye / So the gospel I’ll tell till I’m old and dry /
The world’s cold like a frozen pie / With little sense like missing your ears, tongue, nose, and eyes /
But back to the ugliest things you’ve ever heard of / The murder of the One who took more flack than Roberta /
They came in droves / Cats had His veins exposed /
Played a game where they claimed His robe / Eyes swoll, even rearranged His nose /
Only Providence helped Him sustain the blows /
Are y'all seeing the One who owns it all / The King getting beaten in the Roman halls /
Headed for a Roman cross, and heaven is His home and all /But He wouldn’t give His home a call /
Soon to dislocate His bones and all / And still wouldn’t wish for His opponents' fall /
Ahhh!---tired and thirsty too / Blood lost on a cross in His birthday suit /
As He droops, pooped from attempts to breathe / I grieve/ Tears stop my attempts to read /
The sign hanging over Him limp and weak/ It’s (Memphis) bleak /
How could this have been meant to be? /
Repeat Chorus
No time to blink, just continue to think of Scripture / Let it convict ya /
Focus, get in the picture /
Watch it blow you square off the Ricter / As it teaches you of the real Victor /
Who prevails /You hear the crucifixion details /
Now ask yourself why’s your life still derailed / And why we fail /
To live for the One we nailed / This same Jesus, you know the One we Hail /
With our lips but not with our lives / Time to see with the heart and not with our eyes /
See the Son, the One, who was hung like a poster / Was buried, but popped up like a toaster /
Got all the host of heaven makin’ a toast ta /The King of kings who brings God and men closer /
Sin’s roped ya, guns out the holster / Can’t stay alive even with John Travolta /
Now I hope ta / Pull y'all off the sofa / Cut the TVs pause the CDs, the culture's /
In the midst of a raging storm / The rage is on, obituary page is long /
Life is short, casket sales are high / No surprise that the numbers in the jails are high /
On the streets anything you want they’ll supply / That’s why beer, crack and weed sales are high /
Love songs making you wail and cry / Number of pregnant single females is high /
Youth get high---deal just to get by / Doing street corner business with no suit & tie /
It’s “do or die”, truth or lie, you and I / Refuse to try, and trust the Crucified /
Repeat Chorus
Crash this man, hit and harass this man / Bash, stick and inflict mad gashes and /
Mentally put yourself at the place and time / Use faith as a way to trace the crime /
Let your mind take you back laps and laps / Back track till your mind sees back to back /
All the things that happ'd / To the silent Lamb /
All in chains, trapped like a violent man / Like He forwarded a violent plan /
But it was prophecy / That said God would be /
Treated like unwanted property / You’ve got to see /
The ill way that they flogged Him / Blood leaked, it was deep how they mobbed Him /
Think thorns worn as a crown / Here the Jews say, “Crucify Him pass it down” /
Hear the squeals as the steel comes crashin’ down / Can’t get past the sound /
Teeth are gnashing now / Veins snap, feel that, hot flashin’ now /
Draped in blood, covered in a cap and gown /
So many cracks from the straps / It numbs the back /
Crucifixion makes your lungs collapse /
Watch His chest---see Him gasp for breath / Hear Him…and…till there’s no gasp left /
Chorus: What do you see when you close your eyes /What will you see when your life goes by /
Think hard / Visualize the ill mob / Either you’ll feel God/ Or your heart's real hard /
Concentrate, your mind should stay in study mode / Tell your buddies, “roll” /
As you contemplate the bloody robe /
Which was worn by the One beaten and torn / Killed by the same dust people He formed /
He emptied Himself---paused the wealth / Put independent use of His attributes on the shelf /
Loving men who weren’t loving Him / Loving sin /
Loving gin / Lovin’ a night at the club again /
I’m rubbin' men wrong but souls will die / If my rhyme doesn’t come in and blow your high /
I’m right in the sight of Jehovah’s eye / So the gospel I’ll tell till I’m old and dry /
The world’s cold like a frozen pie / With little sense like missing your ears, tongue, nose, and eyes /
But back to the ugliest things you’ve ever heard of / The murder of the One who took more flack than Roberta /
They came in droves / Cats had His veins exposed /
Played a game where they claimed His robe / Eyes swoll, even rearranged His nose /
Only Providence helped Him sustain the blows /
Are y'all seeing the One who owns it all / The King getting beaten in the Roman halls /
Headed for a Roman cross, and heaven is His home and all /But He wouldn’t give His home a call /
Soon to dislocate His bones and all / And still wouldn’t wish for His opponents' fall /
Ahhh!---tired and thirsty too / Blood lost on a cross in His birthday suit /
As He droops, pooped from attempts to breathe / I grieve/ Tears stop my attempts to read /
The sign hanging over Him limp and weak/ It’s (Memphis) bleak /
How could this have been meant to be? /
Repeat Chorus
No time to blink, just continue to think of Scripture / Let it convict ya /
Focus, get in the picture /
Watch it blow you square off the Ricter / As it teaches you of the real Victor /
Who prevails /You hear the crucifixion details /
Now ask yourself why’s your life still derailed / And why we fail /
To live for the One we nailed / This same Jesus, you know the One we Hail /
With our lips but not with our lives / Time to see with the heart and not with our eyes /
See the Son, the One, who was hung like a poster / Was buried, but popped up like a toaster /
Got all the host of heaven makin’ a toast ta /The King of kings who brings God and men closer /
Sin’s roped ya, guns out the holster / Can’t stay alive even with John Travolta /
Now I hope ta / Pull y'all off the sofa / Cut the TVs pause the CDs, the culture's /
In the midst of a raging storm / The rage is on, obituary page is long /
Life is short, casket sales are high / No surprise that the numbers in the jails are high /
On the streets anything you want they’ll supply / That’s why beer, crack and weed sales are high /
Love songs making you wail and cry / Number of pregnant single females is high /
Youth get high---deal just to get by / Doing street corner business with no suit & tie /
It’s “do or die”, truth or lie, you and I / Refuse to try, and trust the Crucified /
Repeat Chorus
Limitations
"I don't mean no harm/But I'll bet the farm/
Some put the weight of the Mission*/On skill and charm"
I've been meditating lately on Cross Movement's words in the lyrics above (Holy Culture album, "In Not Of"). Like these brothers noticed, there's a tendency in the world today (and I'm guilty of it, too), to put an emphasis on human capital rather than divine capital to meet the challenges of the day and even to do God's own work. Yes, I see it every day, when folks with external critiera but without depth of character are selected over the humble and godly who may lack certain trappings (maybe not as smooth or socially adroit as the next man). I've also been checking out my boy Allistair Begg's series on weakness (TruthForLife.org) and being blessed by his assertion that our limitations (not our sins) may very well be the key to God's use of us. On top of all this (or really, on the bottom of it -- the foundation) has been my own meditation on Hannah, a thorough woman of God, and her prayer in I Samuel 2 (about God using the least likely -- the poor, beggars, barren, etc. -- rather than princes and so forth).
Now, I'm all about doing God's business w. excellence, but I've noticed a trend in the church that has taken its cues from the world, and that is placing a premium on human ability rather than God's when it comes to doing God's work. For instance, all too often, a pastor is selected because he is able to sway a crowd emotionally, not because of his heart for ministering to folks or because of his love of the truth of God's Word. It's like, how good can you hoop, how stirred up can you get the audience, how clever can you speak -- instead of, how faithful can you be visiting the elderly who are in nursing homes and unable to come to church (giving to those you can't get anything from), how dedicated to your calling can you be when you can make way more dough in the business world, how humble can you be when you have an elder board that really holds you accountable and is there for checks and balances, and how accurately can you communicate the heart of God -- not tainting it w. your own agenda, even your own 'cause'. More often than not, a person's looks, even their education or personality, are given more weight than their lifestyle and heart for God and for people when selecting someone to serve in leadership. And then we wonder what went wrong when there's tons of damage control to be done when the leader of our choosing's flaws become evident.
Reminds me of Saul, the people's choice. Tho' God told Israel that He was their King, they wanted the assurance that comes from external symbols (don't we all?). So they got what they wanted, human king Saul, even tho' God told them what the outcome of a human king would be (exploitation of your crops/land, your children, and so on -- and it seems it's been that way ever since, but I digress). Things weren't right until David came along, and He was God's real choice -- though he was young and inexperienced and the least likely among his brothers. (Ironically, David later became 'the people's champ'.)
How's all this affecting me? Well, it's causing me to examine myself and make sure I'm really trusting in the Lord rather than trusting in myself and my abilities or in a person or in earthly systems, etc. to meet my God-given needs (whether financially, spiritually, socially, career-wise, ministry-wise, whatever) and reach my God-given goals. When I say things like: God can't possibly be calling me to that because I can't see how it could work, or I know I'm in God's will but I feel the most inadequate than I've ever felt in my life, I have to pause and remind myself that no, I am not adequate, but if God tells me to do it, then He will make me adequate. Wasn't adequate for motherhood (far from it, w. my anti-maternal self), but God giveth grace. Wasn't adequate for Yale, this child of the ghetto (and I'm the kinda girl where you can take me outta the ghetto but you can't take the ghetto outta me), but God giveth grace. Um, just about everything that I've set out to do (whether finishing my last 2 years at Yale as a single mom or going to Dallas seminary as a single mom or teaching w.o ever taking 1 teaching class or moving into educ. admin. or discipling folks or speaking in front of folks), I've not been up to the task, and that's driven me to the Savior's arms. Now, the outcome hasn't been smooth sailing, but it's been w. a peace that I've followed God's will and a confidence that He's been / being made to shine. As Wangui reminded me, whenever I DON'T feel like I'm up to the task on my own strength, then there's problems b.c. I'm likely being prideful and will ride on my own strength -- not rest in the Lord's. Thanks for aptly spoken, wise words from friends.
It's so easy to fall into the trap of trying to do God's work my way -- to have a great, God-given goal, but to pursue it by resorting to less than godly tactics (like Abe trying to fulfill God's promise of a son by committing adultery w. Hagar). God's business has to be done God's way. God's just as concerned with how we get there as to where we're going. So, I can't begin in the Spirit, with a godly aim, and try to conclude in the flesh, by trusting in what seems like a sure fire method of getting there that doesn't honor God.
I'm beginning to see that my own limitations are really opportunities for God to be magnified. Like Paul did in II Corinthians, I'm starting to see the wisdom in rejoicing in my limitations rather than bemoaning them. My crazy upbringing is nothing to apologize for (heck, I didn't choose the family I was born into nor did I have any control over the choices of the adults who were responsible for rearing me). Instead, my background is something to accept and let God use -- and the more I rest in that, the more God uses that part of my life. My daughter's disability is not a sign of my weak faith, or of God's punishment of me, or anything crazy like that. Though I pray for T's healing every day, I also must to an extent accept the challenges our lives bring and rejoice in the simple pleasures of her big smile, her mischievous ways, and the gifts God has planted even in her non-verbal self (and there are many when you have the eyes to see). My personality type, as quirky as it is, my preferences (and their eclectic nature), are not evidence of my oddness (tho' my siblings would disagree -- to them I've always been a bit strange :0) ), but of God's unique making of me, and the more I see that what I am not, and I am, are completely in the Master's control -- the more content and the more effective a sistuh will be.
*The Great Commission
Mad Praze
Well, today's Resurrection Sunday, a.k.a. Easter, and I've been chillin' for most of the day. Fun time w. teens in Sunday School today and, tho' I missed Pastor J's sermon (I'll get the tape), also had a good time lending an impromptu hand in the nursery. Five little ones in there, along w. T, and I had fun holding each and every one of them. Babies just do something to me, which is weird 'cuz I'm not Ms. Maternal. Anyhoo, heart fulla mad praze 2 God today for His Son's awesome sacrifice. Can't understand it, esp. when it's so hard for me 2 4-give those who harm me intentionally. Mind-blowin', God's grace is. And wonderfully awe-inspiring how at the Cross there was the perfect intersection of God's holiness / justice and His mercy / compassion / grace. Reminds me of this song we useta sing in the ol' Baptist church I grew up in: "I don't know why Jesus loves me, I don't know why He cares for me, I don't know why He sacrificed His life, Oh, but I'm glad, so glad He did."
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