Irresponsible Parents

Okay, so I've been trippin' lately over the huge responsibility parents have raising their kids and how it is so easy to mess up when it comes to child-rearing. Parents are human, and there's no rule book on parenting that we can follow, so a lot is learned through trial and error. One thing that's needed, though, is a willingness on the part of parents to admit their mistakes and not to act like they are the child (self-centered). Three recent celebrity situations come to mind when I think about this topic.

One is the atrocious voice mail that actor Alec Baldwin left for his 11 year-old daughter recently. What's even sadder is that when I played the clip for a friend, this person did not see anything wrong with Baldwin's ranting. The clip can be heard here:
http://www.tmz.com/2007/04/19/alec-baldwins-threatening-message-to-daughter/
This person said we don't know what the little girl did, and the problem with (white) kids today is that their parents don't discipline them, but let them do what they want. This person (who is Black) then said Baldwin talked to his daughter the way Black parents talk to their children all the time. She's right, but it's still sad. Nothing Baldwin's daughter did warrants her father's degrading, anger-filled comments.

The second is a blog entry by D-Nice, former hip hop artist of the '80s. D-Nice opens up and shares details of the pain caused by his absentee father:
http://www.d-nice.com/journal/archives/000095.php

The last is a reality show called "I Married A Baller" that I stumbled upon this weekend. One of the members of a female R&B group from the '90s married this retired football player named Eddie George, and their family activities are featured in this reality show, kind of like Run's House. Well, Eddie George's father was rarely there for him growing up but this hasn't stopped this football hero from pursuing a relationship with his dad today. He goes out of his way to invite his dad to spend time with his family, even to attend big events like his induction into the Hall of Fame. And all of this despite the fact that his dad is still struggling with drug addiction and is very uncomfortable and 'fidgety' at these gatherings. Part of Eddie George's relationship with his dad is sweet, seeing him play the role of the adult and forgive his father and try to give his father what his father didn't give him. Another part strikes me as enabling, though, and as something that should not have to be.

D-Nice and Eddie George both have made very different choices when it comes to dealing with their irresponsible fathers, and I can't say who's right and who's wrong. All I can do is mourn the fact that there are thousands of others like them -- adults struggling to deal with the wounds of parents who act(ed) more like kids than adults.